Stay in the Moment

With the holidays quickly approaching, I often remind myself of a moment with my daughters a few years ago. Our schedule was rushed– isn’t that always the case–and we were running late for a family gathering. I promised the girls that I would relax, and we would just get there when we got there. I told them I wanted them to love our family time. I knew if I became frazzled, that could ruin it, and that was the last thing I want to do. When we finally arrived, I was feeling stressed and worried that everyone would be upset with us for being late. Thankfully, no one was upset; they were just glad we came.

After everything was over, I was walking things out to my car, and my youngest daughter asked for a hug. I love hugs. I will always break for hugs.

I squeezed her tightly and we whispered, “I love you.”

As I began to let go of my tiny teenager, standing on the small-town sidewalk with icy cold air pressing in around us, I could feel myself switch to rush mode again. Rush. Rush. Rush.

Elise held me tighter, refusing to let go, and said, “Stay in the moment, Mom.”

She said it twice. Twice.

“Stay in the moment.”

She was right. Everything else could wait. I didn’t have any fires to put out. Nothing to clean up, just off to the next place. I squeezed her tighter. I relaxed as her tiny frame melted into mine. I didn’t feel cold anymore or rushed. I felt peace. I felt steady. I was loving the one in front of me well.

“Oh baby,” I said, “I will stay in the moment because there is nothing that I love more than this. Nothing more important than you and me together.”

What thirteen-year-old can tell you what they are missing from you? Mine did. She wanted me all in, there in body and heart. She wanted me to stay in the moment, whatever it was or looked like and feeling all of it instead of rushing off to the next one. She wanted me. And I wanted to be wanted.

Confession: I’m not doing everything right. I rarely do. But I try, and that’s enough for me. I’m trying so hard to keep up and keep everyone happy, which is my jam, but also usually means I’m last on my list, and unfortunately means I’m last on other lists as well. I have stayed in the moment, even when it’s a frustrated one.  If I’m honest, I will tell you being fully present is work, especially when you are “easier to deal with when you are nicer.” But a real breakthrough in your life means you know that you are worth it, even when you are less than perfect.

Say you’re sorry. I’ve said it multiple times to my girls, and the funny thing is that they get it because they get me and they love me anyway because they know they are the most important thing in my little world. I prove that by the life I give them; year after year, I have proved that to them.

Sometimes we have to break up with doing things the same way and actually change to create the life we want to live. I tend to focus on doing all the things, marking off all the boxes. To be present means removing some of my boxes because I chose this. I chose to be awake. To be present. To know that my mental health and well-being needs fewer boxes and needs my significant others to be awake, too, and ready to hear me when I ask for help and admit that I’m not Wonder Woman (but I’m pretty darn close).

Stay in the moment.

Figure out what moments are worth staying in.

Figure out what moments are worth fighting for, and fight for them.

Don’t place blame; own your part of whatever makes the holidays jacked up for you.

Figure out why you’re sad, why you feel unheard. You might be saying it wrong or asking for help in a way that your people don’t understand.

If history repeats itself, and it often does, what part of your future would you like to change?

What is inside of you that needs to change? What needs to be surrendered at the feet of Jesus?

But, whatever you do, don’t go numb. That’s the easy way out. Stay awake. Stay in the moment.

Stay present.

Don’t settle for anything less than awake, even when it hurts.

Don’t look to others and expect them to be your Jesus or fix you. Only Jesus satisfies. He is what you need.

Be you. That’s enough. I always tell people that what I lack in talent I make up for with passion. When I’ve lost my spark, I know something is wrong and that my health is suffering. Most of the time, it just means I’m exhausted to the core.

So, if you are tired, take a nap. Don’t just complain about it, do something to fix it.

Jesus said, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28 NIV)

He gives us rest, not lists.

He lightens our load as we spend time in his presence and listen, really listen to him and what he tells us in his Word. Throw away your list, if only for a day. Take care of your heart; you’re the only one in charge of that.

Stay in the moment. Feel everything. 

Jennifer Watson is the author of Freedom! The Gutsy Pursuit of Breakthrough and the Life Beyond It, a wife, mother of two teenage daughters, and national speaker. Jennifer has been in full-time ministry for twenty years and is passionate about investing in others. Jennifer is an overly affectionate Southern girl with an undying affection for cupcakes and red lipstick. You can connect with Jennifer at www.jenniferreneewatson.com and join her community there.

Photograph © Pixabay, used with permission