How Proximity Sanctifies Us

“‘And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.” (Mark 12:30-31 ESV)

When our daughter turned five, the age when many children learn to read, she did not express interest in books. We homeschool our children, and I’ve taken to the educational philosophy that children will learn when they are ready as opposed to learning on a state-designed timeline. I remained unconcerned. As she became more interested in reading, we noticed she struggled tremendously. Common, short words she had encountered hundreds of times still required sounding out. She would add extra sounds to some words and delete sounds from others. We consulted two reading specialists who encouraged us to seek a diagnosis for a probable learning disability. This summer, we received an official diagnosis of dyslexia.

We are a family of voracious readers. My husband and I always have between one and five books teetering on our nightstands. My oldest child read a thousand pages last January alone. Reading is entwined in our family culture.

Our love of reading made it even harder to see our daughter struggle. I worried that she would never develop a love for reading. I cried when she cried, both of us overcome with frustration. I grieved the magical worlds she would miss: Hogwarts, Narnia, Oz, Middle Earth, and Uriel. These may be fictional worlds, but they are destinations our family holds dear. Even more, though, I worried how her difficulties with reading would impact the quality of her life and her future career options.

Now that we have a diagnosis, we are better equipped to help our daughter thrive and develop her reading skills. She’s progressing in her reading ability after just a few tweaks in our plan. The most significant change we have made isn’t a curriculum or assistive technology, though. We changed our perspective. Our idea of what reading looks like changed drastically. God used my daughter’s disability to open my eyes and heart to those who experience the world differently from me.

Isn’t it interesting how we don’t give much thought about how those who are different from us go through life until we are in proximity to them? We don’t think about how this world is built for the physically able until we take a nasty fall and end up in a wheelchair for a few weeks. It’s easy to judge an addict until one is living in your house. It’s easier to vote pro-life when you’ve never faced an unplanned pregnancy with no support.

Jesus could not have been more different from us. He is God’s perfect son, yet he chose to dwell with the flawed. I love the passage in Mark, where Jesus is having dinner with tax collectors and sinners (Mark 2:15-17 ESV). He desired closeness with those whom society had cast out. I believe if Jesus walked the earth today, he would dine with immigrant mothers, sex-trafficked young people, incarcerated men, and transgender teens. His love is so boundless and perfect that he chooses those the culture deems unworthy and breaks bread with them. His closeness with the marginalized often brought sanctification to their lives.

I believe God uses proximity to bring sanctification to our lives as well. Closeness with God is the main driver for resurrection-like life change in us. But proximity with people also sanctifies us by giving us new perspectives, appreciation, and, hopefully, love for those around us.

Last week a long written passage appeared on the screens at church. The pastor asked the congregation to read it aloud with him. Reading aloud is standard practice at our church, and I had never given it much thought before that day.

I immediately thought not only of my daughter, but others in the room who may have been struggling to keep up with those reading beside them. Maybe there were others with learning disabilities in the place or someone just learning English as a second language. God is making my heart bigger because I am choosing to see the needs of the people he places in my path.

The beauty of living in community is learning to love each other because of our differences, not in spite of them. Let God open your eyes to those close to you today so he can open your heart to a greater understanding of and love for your neighbor.

Lord, your diverse design gives us an incredible opportunity to love well. Open our eyes to those around us who experience life differently than we do. Open our hearts to the possibility that you are using that relationship to sanctify us, bring us closer to you, and bring your love and glory into the world. Amen.

Scripture for Reflection

“And the scribes of the Pharisees, when they saw that he was eating with sinners and tax collectors, said to his disciples, ‘Why does he eat with tax collectors and sinners?’ And when Jesus heard it, he said to them, ‘Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I came not to call the righteous, but sinners.'” (Mark 2: 16-17 ESV)

Reach for More

In Jesus’ time on earth, eating meals was an intimate affair. Jewish laws stated clearly who could eat with whom, what food to serve, etc. Jesus disregards societal pressures in order to show God’s wildly inclusive love to the most despised people of the times. How are you following Jesus’ example to put people over policies and to choose proximity for the sake of love?

How has proximity to someone different than you given you a fresh perspective and increased love? We would love to hear your stories. Use the hashtag #tgtreachformore to share.

Lindsay Hufford is a small-scale farmer, home educator, chicken chaser, kitchen dancer, and mediocre knitter. Her favorite things include spending time with her family, exploring the natural world, reading, eating spicy food, and singing loudly in the car (to the embarrassment of her children). Lindsay believes sharing our stories will change the world. She writes about farming, homeschooling, faith, mental health, sobriety, and living an unconventional life. You can follow her adventures at peckandpetalfarm.com.

Photograph © Jerry Wang, used with permission