Break the Cycle of Discontent

^“For though they knew God, they did not glorify him as God or show gratitude. Instead, their thinking became worthless, and their senseless hearts were darkened.” (Romans 1:21 CSB)

God, please show me what’s next. I can’t keep doing this! I whispered discontent into the pages of my prayer journal. My daily routines had me trapped, backed into a corner of my own life. I repositioned myself in my chair, physically restless as I cried out for a rescue from what I knew as normal. My pen scribbled phrases of emotional desperation.

I was restless, ready to break free and start something new. I wanted relief from the same stresses, the same breakneck schedule, the same frustrations. I longed for a peek at the road map of my life. I wanted some assurance of a detour or sharp right turn off this dead-end road.

Feeling introspective, I picked up an old prayer journal. I opened it to the same day, two years earlier. I read the same prayer in the same handwriting. The only difference was the year at the top of the page. I remembered my emotions as I prayed that day–my desire for something new. It was easy to remember because I was there again.

At the risk of exposing my serial discontent, I dug deeper into the journal pile. Four years back, during the same month, I found murmurings of a woman stuck in a rut and looking for a way out. I am certain if I continued through the pages of my history, the story would repeat.

My next move is the same year after year. After I scratch out an amen in my journal, I start meddling a little. I make calls and jot down actionable items on a list. I push forward with plans I think might work instead of waiting on God’s response to my prayer. When things don’t happen the way I think they should and on my timeline, my discontent grows deeper.

I diagnosed myself with a two-year itch. About every two years, I get restless. The source changes—job, relationship, environment, ministry. My go-to anecdote is action with a side of prayer. I beg God for a change and start moving in a different direction while I wait for his answer.

Desire, discontent, complain, strategize, and repeat. How can I move out of this cycle of discontent?

Romans 1:21 provides an antidote for my sickness: ^“For though they knew God, they did not glorify him as God or show gratitude. Instead, their thinking became worthless, and their senseless hearts were darkened.” Working backward from my dark heart and worthless thinking, I see the cause: “they glorified him not as God, neither gave thanks.”

When I am not intentionally thankful for the good in my life, I relapse into discontent. Then I bump God out of the way so I can change directions. Paul calls this thinking “worthless.” As a passenger on this two-year-long crazy train ride, I agree. Without gratitude, it is all too easy to spiral into discontent.

I looked at Jesus’ example of gratitude in the Gospels.

Jesus “took the seven loaves and the fishes, and gave thanks.” (Matthew 15:36 KJV)
Jesus “took the bread, and gave thanks, and brake it, and gave it unto them, saying, ‘This is my body which is given for you; this do in remembrance of me.’” (Luke 22:19 KJV)
At the entrance to Lazarus’ tomb, “Jesus raised his eyes and said, ‘Father, I thank you that you heard me.’” (John 11:41 CSB)

Jesus modeled gratitude. He encountered adversity, then acknowledged God as the giver of all good gifts. When the people were hungry, when he broke bread knowing his body would soon break, and as he mourned the death of a friend, he gave thanks.

I felt a sharp twinge of grief over my ingratitude. To break my cycle of discontent, I needed to practice gratitude. As I stepped into my day, following the same tired routines, I reminded myself of God’s generous gifts. I stayed attuned to the smallest blessings and thanked God for them. This shift in thinking helped change my attitude from discontent to gratitude.

Now that I recognize my propensity for grumbling, I must make a choice to be grateful–daily, often, and in all things. I’m finding relief for the two-year itch. Like a vaccination against a deadly disease, gratitude prevents discontent.

Dear Father, forgive us for ingratitude and discontent. You are the giver of good gifts and abundant life. Even in difficult and tiring seasons, you bless us and give us reasons to be thankful. When discontent begins to rise, remind us to return to intentional gratitude. Amen.

Scripture for Reflection

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change. (James 1:17 ESV)

Don’t worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. (Philippians 4:6 CSB)

Reach for More

With our days already packed with to-do lists and obligations, we must be intentional about gratitude. Record thankful thoughts throughout the day in a small journal tucked in your purse, a note-taking app, or a post-it at your desk. Set an alarm on your phone with a happy tone to remind you to tell God “thank you.”

Kelly Smith is a small town girl who married a small town man. They have three children. In the quiet minutes of her day, you will find her at the keyboard or curled up with a book–always with coffee. Kelly believes we are created for community and loves to find ways to connect with other women who are walking in the shadow of the cross. She blogs at mrsdisciple.com.