Trust in God’s Grace

I’m not sure how the tradition started. When my children were young, we did not co-sleep. I am not against co-sleeping; it just wasn’t something that happened in our family. My son was a super noisy baby (read: laughed out loud in his sleep) and my daughter was particularly independent. I didn’t want to sleep with the giggler, and my daughter simply wouldn’t sleep with us; she preferred her own space.

Many years down the road, we are now a co-sleeping family once a week. My son is now a sweet, sentimental seven-year-old, and he cherishes his “Monday nights with Mommy.” In fact, this November his birthday falls on a Monday and he has been reminding me for the entire year. Since he now sleeps quietly, this arrangement works out well. It is on these Monday nights that we get to read, talk, and snuggle in a way I am sure I will miss years from now.

It was on one of these Monday nights a few months ago when I noticed he seemed particularly quiet. He’d been at Vacation Bible School all evening, so I assumed he was just tired from all the activities. We were reading beside one another when he turned to me and asked, “Mom? What do I have to do to go to heaven?”

My eyes widened. This is the question all believing parents wait for. We nurture and love these little people in the deep hope that someday, they will ask us these very words. And then we have the incredible privilege of sharing the good news with them.

The only problem was, something was off about my son’s question. He sounded worried. An unusually precocious child, he has known and understood about Christ’s love and redemption for a long time. I quickly realized he wasn’t asking me about salvation through faith. This child was asking me what he had to DO. As in earn. As in how to work his way to heaven.

A little questioning revealed that another boy at VBS had told him that he had to behave in order to make it to heaven. This boy told my son that he had to “be good” so that he “wouldn’t go to hell.” One innocent little boy told another innocent little boy that works, not grace, are what we “do” to get to heaven, and a lie common to man embedded itself in my child’s mind.

“Dang it,” I thought. Somehow I had hoped that the idea of a works-based gospel would not invade my child’s world quite yet. I had hoped that he would know a few more years of innocent trust in God’s grace before he faced the pressure to perform. I had hoped he would experience a few more seasons of freedom before he faced what the rest of us face every day.

The words of one precious child were just the beginning of a narrative we all encounter. While children frame these conversations around their behavior at school and home, we tie ours to work, productivity, and attitude. Children see their good and bad tallies on charts in the classroom while ours often exist only in our minds. We think we are good Christians when we do good things and bad Christians when we don’t measure up. And therein lies the rub.

Are we supposed to be loving, giving, kind, serving, faithful, peaceful, patient, sacrificial people? Yes.

Are we called to avoid being mean, spiteful, gossipy, self-centered, jealous, contentious people? Also yes.

Does our eventual tally of doing more good stuff than bad stuff allow a holy God to then check the math and “let us in?” Not even close.

The only math God ever does is Jesus + nothing.

Jesus. He’s it. There is no doing, no achieving, no earning our way there. The good news is that every single one of us failed our math test, and God let Jesus erase our scores and enter his own so we would pass.

So on that Monday night, I did with my son what I have to do with myself all the time: I reminded him of the truth. When the world says that we must behave ourselves, when perfectionism whispers in our ear, when we are lost in the shame of having “messed up” yet another time, the truth of grace sets us free.

• “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.” (Ephesians 2:8-9 NIV)
• “. . . For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.” (Romans 3:23-24 NIV)
• “For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people.” (Titus 2:11 NIV)
• “And if by grace, then it cannot be based on works; if it were, grace would no longer be grace.” (Romans 11:6 NIV)

The truth. We cannot earn our way there. We will fail every single time. It is by faith in Jesus, in the power of his sacrifice over our sin, in the fact that he earned our way there when we could not.

Remember, it’s his gift, son. A gift you accepted in faith a long time ago. Sleep peacefully my child, safe in his arms and mine.

Anne Rulo is an author, speaker, professional counselor, marriage and family therapist and veteran coaches wife. She and her husband Tim have two children and are passionate about reaching people for Christ and sharing information on coaching, marriage, family, and mental health. Read more from Anne at www.annerulo.com.

Photograph © Brimstone Creative, used with permission