How to Leave a Legacy

I’ve been thinking a lot about legacy this past year because my husband’s grandmother passed away on Valentine’s Day at the age of one hundred. Even though I was her granddaughter-in-law for only nineteen of those years, I had the fortune of developing a close relationship with her. I was also able to observe the relationships she fostered with her grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

As she neared the end of her life, then following her death, there was a lot of talk about her wonderful legacy. She was an inspiration to the women in her family. She was a military wife, and like most military wives, while her husband was doing his duty to country, she did her duty by doing most of the heavy lifting of raising three children. When her husband could no longer work, she transitioned from full-time mother into a full-time breadwinner. When she finally did retire, the company for which she worked hired multiple men to do the work she alone had been doing all those years.

Her story may not be that different from those of many women of the greatest generation, whose lives were peppered with hardship. However, one detail that keeps coming up was that she never complained. Life kept throwing her curveballs, and she kept taking the hits, adjusting to her new normal and making the best of it.

At her funeral service, one of her granddaughters recounted the events of her life using a song she had taught all of her grandkids. As she did, the audience spontaneously joined her, and we all finished the song together. I’ve been to a lot of funeral services (as one of the resident “funeral singers” for our church), but have never witnessed anything like that. This funeral “flash mob” of sorts was a testament of the legacy she left for her family, a legacy of a life well-lived that will impact generations.

Moments like these leave me wondering, what will my legacy be? I’m just over halfway through my life (assuming I make it to the life expectancy for women in the United States) and still several years away from halfway through if I live as long as my grandmother-in-law. It feels too soon to have a legacy when I compare myself to the wise women who have gone before me. Yet it also feels insufficient when I compare myself to other women my age who have thriving careers, have published books, or are enacting positive change in the world.

However, comparison is the thief of joy. And there is only one person who has gone before us and left a legacy to truly emulate.

In John 14, Jesus gives his disciples instructions of what to do and how to act after he leaves them. He lets him know that he will no longer be in the world in a way that they can see, but he will send the Holy Spirit in his stead to guide and comfort his followers:

“But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” (John 14: 26-27 NIV)

Christ’s instructions were simple and clear: If you love me, keep my commandments (v. 15). Christ’s legacy to love God and love others is the foundation of how we are to be in this world while using the Holy Spirit to guide our legacy.

Even with these simple instructions, leaving a positive legacy can become confusing. Instead of allowing the Holy Spirit to be our guide, we allow the world to influence our decisions,  which will impact generations.

When this part of my life is over and I’m on the other side of eternity, I wonder if I will I be able to look back with clarity. Maybe I will see that I made a lot of wrong choices about things I was so certain about. Maybe I will see that I voted for the wrong people or planted my flag on the wrong side of political issues. Maybe I will realize that I stood on the wrong side of the LGBTQ debate or chose the wrong church denomination. Maybe it will be clear that I didn’t speak up enough on behalf of my kids or spoke up too much. Maybe I will realize I made too big a deal about their upbringing.

When I consider all the hills I’m willing to die on in this life, I wonder if I’ll eventually find out I’m on the wrong hill or I didn’t need to make a final stand after all.

Maybe it’s all much ado about nothing.

If you love me, keep my commandments. Will your legacy show a life guided by the Holy Spirit? A legacy of peace and peacemaking, justice, and love?  When we look back over eternity, will we be able to say that we made a real effort to love God and love our neighbors?

What will my legacy say about me? If I err on the side of love, perhaps there will be an impromptu flash mob at my funeral, too.

Stephanie Clinton is a writer and blogger but more importantly, a wife and mother to two little boys. In her free time (if there is any) she can be found wiping snotty noses and volunteering in her community and school. Learn more about Stephanie along with her passion to encourage women and lighten their load at www.hugskissesandsnot.com.

Photograph © Annie Spratt, used with permission