You Can't Pull Other People's Weeds

He put another parable before them, saying, “The kingdom of heaven may be compared to a man who sowed good seed in his field, but while his men were sleeping, his enemy came and sowed weeds among the wheat and went away. So when the plants came up and bore grain, then the weeds appeared also. And the servants of the master of the house came and said to him, ‘Master, did you not sow good seed in your field? How then does it have weeds?’ He said to them, ‘An enemy has done this.’ So the servants said to him, ‘Then do you want us to go and gather them?’ But he said, ‘No, lest in gathering the weeds you root up the wheat along with them. Let both grow together until the harvest, and at harvest time I will tell the reapers, “Gather the weeds first and bind them in bundles to be burned, but gather the wheat into my barn.”’” (Matthew 13:24-43 ESV)

My first grader inevitably yells at me as I pull up dandelions and wild carrots along our street during our walk home from the bus stop each afternoon. “You can’t pull other people’s weeds!” she says.

“Yes, I can. Their weeds will eventually spread to our yard,” I say. “The neighbors don’t care if I pull their weeds.”

I suppose dandelions have their benefits, but American wild carrots, or daucus pusillus, are a bur-producing nuisance that quickly pollute our unkempt St. Augustine and Bermuda grass lawns.

And yet, maybe my seven-year-old daughter is right.

Maybe I can’t pull other people’s weeds. Not really, anyway.

I can try to pull their weeds. I can grab those little eyesores and yank them out by the roots, hoping they won’t grow back. But when they inevitably return, and I’m not there to pull them out again, then my efforts have been futile. Such is the way with weeds. I can only ever hope to maintain my own immediate area.

Likewise, I cannot police other people’s problems in an effort to safeguard my own environment and sanity. I am only responsible for identifying and fixing my own issues. Even my two young children will have to learn to fight their own battles and root out their own enemies without my assistance or micromanagement as they mature.

I tell my children, “Worry about yourself,” when they start tattling on each other, but I would do well to heed my own instruction.

I need to focus on rooting out the weeds, or sins, in my own yard before I even think about trying to edit my neighbors’ lawns. This is the essence of self-care and healthy boundaries—figuring out what I am actually responsible for and staying there, rather than constantly intruding upon others’ territory.

In the Parable of the Weeds and Wheat, Jesus tells his disciples that the owner of the field didn’t allow his servants to pull the weeds his enemy had planted until they first harvested the wheat. Why? He didn’t want his crop to be uprooted with the weeds.

Overzealous weeding endangers the neighboring fruit because sometimes, unbeknownst to the well-meaning gardener, the competing plants’ roots are entangled.

Perhaps, as believers, we should worry more about producing a good crop of righteousness than about removing the neighbors’ weeds of imperfection. Perhaps done really is better than perfect where grace is involved, and Jesus is the only true perfecter.

God alone can judge and orchestrate the burning of the weeds and the gathering of the crop in the end time. Perhaps our primary job, therefore, is not to weed out the evildoers, but instead, to grow Christ’s followers.

Perhaps our job as the church is not to punish the trespassers but to fertilize the faithful.

Dear Father, please help us to focus on producing good fruit in our own gardens, instead of trying to pull our neighbors’ weeds. Help us to recognize our own responsibilities instead of using others’ imperfections as a distraction from our own work. Amen.

Scripture for Reflection

“But let each one test his own work, and then his reason to boast will be in himself alone and not in his neighbor. For each will have to bear his own load.” (Galatians 6:4-5 ESV)

“Let your foot be seldom in your neighbor’s house, lest he have his fill of you and hate you.” (Proverbs 25:17 ESV)

Reach for More

Are you cultivating your own garden, or are you busy trying to pull your neighbors’ weeds? Ask the Creator of all people (and plants) to help you stay in your own lane, or front yard, as it may be. Ask him to convict you of the weeds that need to be uprooted and the fruit that needs to be fertilized in your own garden.

Lauren Flake writes about her journey as a wife, mom to two little girls and Alzheimer’s daughter in her native Austin, Texas, at For the Love of Dixie. Her first book, Where Did My Sweet Grandma Go? was published in 2016. She thrives on green tea, Tex-Mex, and all things turquoise.