Are You Drifting With the Storm or Fighting Against It?

Louisa May Alcott’s ship came in after a publisher suggested she write a novel for girls. The resulting Little Women took the world by storm in 1868, as her story of the four March sisters and their family captivated the hearts of young and old, completely reversing the Alcotts’ financial fortune in the process. Just as her book’s character Josephine imagines, Louisa (1832–88) used her earnings to fix up the family home, making their large brown house in Concord, Massachusetts, more comfortable for real-life sisters Anna, Beth, and May, as well as for Father and their mother, Marmee.

The brown house still stands in Concord, surrounded by literary greatness on every side: Nathaniel Hawthorne’s family next door, Ralph Waldo Emerson down the street, Henry David Thoreau’s Walden Pond within walking distance. When you stroll up to Orchard House, so named for the forty apple trees out back, you can’t help but reflect on the insights that came together in this one town. Was it something in the water? Purely divine inspiration? Doesn’t it sound dreamy to move from poverty and obscurity to riches and fame within the course of one year? Ah, but we know there’s more to it. Because once your ship comes in, you have to learn to sail it, through both smooth and stormy seas.

Growing up, introverted Louisa found herself in an atmosphere of deep thoughts and strong ideals. As a philosopher and educator, her father’s beliefs about engaging children through learning put him far ahead of his time. Most people weren’t ready to embrace his concepts. Bronson Alcott started schools nearly everywhere the family moved, and all of them failed, leaving the family in dire financial straits. His thoughts about educating girls were seen as equally radical, and the neighborhood couldn’t believe it when he built Louisa her own desk to support her writing efforts. That white desk remains in the second story of the house today, centered between the two front windows of Louisa’s room, perfect for looking down over the street below.

We had lessons each morning in the study. And very happy hours they were to us, for my father taught in the wise way which unfolds what lies in the child’s nature, as a flower blooms, rather than crammed it, like a Strasburg goose, with more than it could digest.[i]

Though the neighbors knew Louisa as a gifted storyteller—it’s said that people would sometimes stop by just to hear her describe an ordinary day—as an introvert she found ways to let those she loved know what she needed and when. Close friends and family members knew to check the position of her “mood pillow” on the sofa to see what to expect. If she had it propped vertically, leaning up against the sofa’s arm, it meant you could engage her in a chat. But if you saw it placed horizontally, it meant she needed quiet. Amazing! I think introverted mothers everywhere need a mood pillow of their own, some way to let our family and friends know what we need in any given moment. The tricky part would be getting our littles to notice and follow its signals, right?

Fame didn’t come naturally to Louisa, who struggled with becoming a public figure. On one hand, she loved that her family benefited from her writing efforts, and she adored the readers who made that happen. On the other, she felt the need to escape the attention at times. Perhaps this is why, when adoring fans would come knocking on her door, she sometimes answered with a foreign accent, pretending to be the maid.

I get very little time to write or think; for my working days have begun, and when (teaching) school is over Anna wants me; so I have no quiet. I think a little solitude every day is good for me. In the quiet I see my faults, and try to mend them; but, deary me, I don’t get on at all.

August 1850 (Age 17)

Personality gurus think that Louisa May Alcott may fit into the Myers-Briggs personality type indicator as an ISFJ, the introverted personality type referred to as the Protector, “ready to defend loved ones” at any time.[ii] This seems likely, given that Louisa’s motivation for her work stemmed not only from a desire to express her creativity and talent, but also from her fierce commitment to family and the responsibility she felt to help reverse their financial situation.

Toward the end of Little Women, one grown sister remarks to another, “I’m not afraid of storms, for I’m learning how to sail my ship.”[iii] For an introvert, it doesn’t take much effort to sail when the sun is out, the wind still, the water smooth. But as moms, we know that family life regularly rocks our boats. Occasionally we hit our stride and miraculously, all our family members seem to be in a steady place. We exhale into the calm. An hour (or a minute) later, chaos flares once more and we’re reminded that when it comes to children, regular storms go with the territory.

I can imagine an easier life, but with love, health, and work I can be happy; for these three help one to do, to be, and to endure all things.

February 28, 1868 (Age 35)

Yet the very storms we fight against can be a blessing if we let their winds steer us in a new direction. I remember one period when the limited television time I allow my kids each day turned into a problem, with arguments between them all but ruining it. I counted on this quiet and found its interruption deeply discouraging. In thinking through the situation, however, I realized that one of my children needed more time alone. We worked out a system wherein he could play outside while his siblings watched their video, then they would switch and he’d watch the same video while his siblings played outside. Voila! Suddenly I ended up with double the amount of time to myself. A small thing, yes, but a huge mothering win, all because I let myself drift with the storm instead of pushing against it.

[i] Ednah Cheney, Louisa May Alcott: Her Life, Letters, and Journals (Carlisle, MA: Applewood, 2010), 29. Other journal quotes found here as well.

[ii] Description found at https://www.16personalities.com/personality-types.

[iii] Louisa May Alcott, Little Women, Reprint edition (New York: Puffin, 2014), 721.

Jamie Martin is an introverted mama of three and the author of Introverted Mom: Your Guide to More Calm, Less Guilt, and Quiet Joy (Zondervan). She lives with her family in Connecticut.