Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for Help
“If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” (James 1:5, NIV)
This seems like a simple enough verse. If there’s something you want to know, ask God for insight, clarity, or an answer. But how many of us forget to seek God when we have an issue?
I was raised to be an independent person. I was taught how to do laundry, clean the house, cook, drive a manual transmission, change a tire, and change the oil in my car. My parents wanted to make sure I was self-sufficient when I left their house after high school.
The problem is that independent thinking has carried over into my relationship with God and other people. I struggle to ask anyone for help, even when I’m obviously in over my head. I’m often tempted to drown rather than ask for assistance from someone else.
It’s even been a point of friction in my marriage relationship. I believe I shouldn’t need or ask for help so deeply that my husband is sometimes offended when I strive to do something on my own that would be more easily accomplished if I asked for his assistance.
Why do I struggle to ask for help? Part of the reason is the cultural messages I’ve internalized that say asking for help means you’re weak and that being too needy or helpless is a turnoff. My generation of women has been raised to believe that we can do it all, and not only that—we should do it all, and not need help from anyone.
I’m afraid that if I ask for help, I’ll be ridiculed for not being able to do it all on my own. I’m afraid that stating a need and requesting assistance will cost me relationships.
And yet I forget that I don’t consider other people weak when they ask for help. I don’t throw out a relationship when someone asks for assistance. Often, I’m more than happy to provide a service to someone else. It increases our connection when I have meaningfully contributed to the relationship.
When I have a problem, my first, instinctive action is to try to figure it out on my own. I don’t immediately consider seeking God’s wisdom on the matter. In fact, I’m more likely to consult a person or Google before turning to God.
Why does God seem to be my last resort when I’m faced with something I can’t conquer on my own? God clearly states in his Word that I should ask him, and he will generously provide. The way this is worded makes it seem like he is even eager to provide. I can ask God and have no doubt that he will answer.
The verse says that he’ll give generously “without finding fault.” This indicates that he doesn’t see our need for help from him as something lacking in ourselves. He knows we are not enough on our own. We were made to be dependent on him. If we’d follow the way we were created, we’d have everything we need and not struggle so much.
When I pretend I don’t need God or anyone else, then I’m denying the wisdom of my Creator. I was made for relationships, both with God and others. It’s our interdependence that forges relationships and helps us to thrive in our communities.
Why do I fear coming to God? His Word says he’ll provide for me generously and without condition. Do I fear that his answer might be something different from what I hope? Is my desire for my own will to be done one of the reasons I tend to avoid seeking God’s wisdom? Is my lack of trust in God’s good plans for me a result of sin?
Who is whispering to me that God is not good or trustworthy or able to provide what I most need? It’s the enemy, the father of lies who seeks to steal, kill, and destroy. Let us be aware of the devil’s schemes and emboldened by God’s promise that he’ll generously provide wisdom to us when we ask him.
Lord, please forgive us for the times we have gone our own way and tried to live life on our own. We know that we were made for community and for a close relationship with you. Open our eyes to the lies we have believed from the enemy that we can be self-sufficient and don’t need you. Give us humility to recognize our limitations and courage to turn to you to provide wisdom when we need it and meet all of our needs. Lord, we know that you’re loving, gracious, and faithful. Firm up our minds with the truth of your word that reminds us of who you truly are. Amen.
Scriptures for Reflection
“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.” (Psalm 46:1 NIV)
“Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, ‘The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.'” (Lamentations 3:22-24 NIV)
“I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better.” (Ephesians 1:17 NIV)
Reach for More
What keeps you from seeking God when you are in need? Do you struggle with self-sufficiency? Do you worry that his answer might not be the one you desire? Do you doubt God’s faithfulness and love? Choose to trust that his Word is truth and he has wonderful plans and purposes for you.
is an author, blogger, and SAHM. She lives with her husband, two children, and cat in Georgia. Megan likes to read, travel, exercise, attend cultural events, and learn. She blogs at meganbyrd.net.
Photograph © Mattheus Ferrero, used with permission
