Building Community for the Glory of God

One Tuesday evening a month, I spend a few hours with a handful of coaches’ wives over video chat. Our time is mostly spent discussing various Bible studies. We have also celebrated pregnancies, mourned deaths, prayed for job transitions, and confessed our fears to each other. Most importantly, we pray for each other.

Our group leader often says our group exists because we had a need. We were all looking for support from other coaches’ wives who love Jesus. Our individual experiences had shown us we needed the support of other people in similar circumstances in order to grow in our faith.

There is a deep trust within our group, which is interesting because some of us have never met in person. I believe our trust exists because we have a key thing in common: our husbands have challenging public jobs, and there aren’t many safe spaces where we can share about our lives. Since our husbands all work in the same field, we have a common experience that other women who are not coaches’ wives do not easily understand. We speak into one another’s lives in a unique way because of this.

In Acts 2:42-47, the first believers began to gather after Pentecost. They came together because they had one thing in common: a belief in Jesus that others in their community didn’t hold to.

They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe at the many wonders and signs performed by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common. They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.

Our group of coaches’ wives lives across three time zones, so our meetings look different from those of the first believers, but we still join together with glad and sincere hearts, always thankful for our time together, just like the group in Acts. As the church grew, new believers were the first to learn that there comes a point when a few commonalities aren’t enough to keep a group harmoniously together, even a group that is worshipping and growing in faith in Jesus.

The Bible teaches us that the Jews grew up with precise laws about what to eat, whom to associate with, and how to worship all outlined by God. But after Jesus’ death and resurrection, things changed. As the apostles were figuring things out, conflicts developed. By the time the established church in Corinth was wrestling with hard questions, Paul was writing letters to churches everywhere. In 1 Corinthians 10, Paul addresses the church in Corinth’s questions such as what is permissible when we have differing views.:

So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God— even as I try to please everyone in every way. For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved. (1 Cor. 10:31–33)

It’s always a possibility that people in our group will step away from year to year because of differences of opinion that arise, but because we all need the camaraderie, we choose a few intentional boundaries to keep Christ as the center of our time. This helps us navigate our differences when they do come up.

First, we choose to see the best in each other. We understand that we aren’t perfect, and we give each other space to question things and ask hard questions. Second, we admit that we don’t have all the answers, and we share what we’ve learned from our personal journeys, even when it means revealing hard seasons and less-than-flattering experiences. Third, we strive always to point each other back to God.

These boundaries may sound reasonable enough, but their application is another story. Our politics don’t always align, and our church denominational views vary, as do our philosophies on raising children. This is also what makes our group so beautiful. We are a lovely reflection of the church, different races and life experiences joining together with one goal: to encourage each other to grow deeper in our faith.

Choosing to see the best in each other does not mean that we sweep words that wound under the rug. In fact, it is the opposite. The only way we keep conflict from creating division is by having hard conversations wherein both parties listen and willingly consider that their own perspective is not the only way to view life. We also make the conscious choice not to ask others in the group to choose sides.

I take comfort in knowing that nothing we encounter is new. Any conflict our group may experience is one believers before us have also faced. Because of that, we have the Bible to guide our decision-making process. When it comes to keeping our group focused on encouraging each other in Christ as coaches’ wives, I think Paul said it best in 1 Corinthians 10:31: “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God” (emphasis mine). When we keep this in mind, we focus on resolving to find unity and to stick to our main goal: supporting each other as coaches’ wives and pointing each other to God.

Beth Walker is a football coach’s wife and mom of two energetic boys. She strives to encourage those around her to pursue their best lives in Jesus whether she is near the game field, in church, or at the local coffee shop. As a writer, Beth has been striving to find her voice through seeing Jesus in the ordinary and extraordinary of daily life. She blogs at Lessons from the Sidelines.

Photograph © Jessica Da Rosa, used with permission