Finding Rest and Joy

Every weekday morning, I have a gap of about forty-five minutes between when my son leaves for school and when my younger daughter needs to get out of bed. My oldest is in college, so these are the only two in the house I encourage to rise and shine. Most mornings I use this time to read a chapter in the Bible and write. I feel it when I miss a day. I need this quiet time, and when I don’t get it, things are just off. Those forty-five minutes help me focus.

Not only do I need God’s Word, but I need the silence. I love sitting in the silence with the Bible in front of me, waiting to hear from the Lord. Somehow, even though I’m reading in order from chapter to chapter, what I read is exactly what I need. And so this alone time fills me up. It’s necessary, not an indulgence. I enjoy it.

But what about other things I enjoy? Obviously, as Christians, everything we do should glorify the Lord. Is taking “me time” glorifying? Or is it an indulgence?

Over the course of a few years, I became more and more of a slave to my to-do list. I participated in activities, but I never fully enjoyed them because what I thought I needed to be doing niggled in the back of my mind. Eventually, what I would do “just for fun” dwindled. I was a fortysomething wife, mother of three, teacher, writer. I had so many responsibilities that I thought I had no time for just fun.

I think you can imagine where this led me—to becoming an anxious, stressed out, unhappy mess.

Why do women seem to have such trouble doing something simply because they enjoy it? Why can’t we realize that it’s okay to let go of our responsibilities from time to time and just have fun for fun’s sake? It’s so difficult for us not to feel guilty or selfish when we do something that’s just for us, especially if it means time away from our husbands and children. But if we only work, constantly, we’re going to be stretched and stretched until we snap.

We can’t wait until the to-do list is complete before we have a little fun. There will always be something to add to the list. There will always be something to do. Walk away from it. Whether it’s for a few minutes or a few hours—take a break!

A couple of months ago I was listening to an episode of the That Sounds Fun podcast with Annie Downs. Max Lucado was her guest, and he was talking about a time when he was experiencing insomnia. When he went the doctor about it, the doctor asked about his hobbies, but Lucado didn’t have any. The doctor was astounded. He advised Lucado to find a hobby, something that didn’t have any consequences or make a difference to anyone, even himself, if he succeeded or failed. Some sort of release.

We all need to find some sort of hobby or pastime we enjoy and can act as a stress reliever. Something that will bring a smile to our face and help us relax.

After I morphed into no-fun Dana, it was difficult for me to think about what I actually enjoyed, so I sat down and made a list. I brainstormed things I liked to do by myself, things my husband I would enjoy together, and things we could enjoy as a family. I told my husband about my list (he had been encouraging me to find something I enjoy), and he said, “That’s great. Now are you going to do what’s on your list?”

It was a valid question. I’m great at making plans and lists for self-care and self-improvement; it’s the execution I need to work on. Because I also stink at decision making, I decided to put all my fun ideas in a jar and just draw one out when it was time to have some fun. I tend to overthink everything, even the fun stuff!

My list includes simple activities, like reading a book or practicing hand lettering, and more involved activities, like going to an Atlanta Braves game, hiking at a state park, or paddle boarding. What they all have in common, however, is that they’re all things I truly enjoy doing.

When you show love for someone, you’re doing something that benefits them. That’s an idea that’s easy for us to get behind. However, we need to love and take care of ourselves as well. It may be cliché, but it’s true that we can’t pour out when we’re not filled up. All the good intentions in the world won’t mean anything if we have nothing left to give.

There’s a reason God commands us to rest. Resting doesn’t mean just don’t do anything. Resting can be letting go of stress and responsibilities for a while. Resting can be doing something you enjoy. While hard work is admirable and good, we’re not meant to constantly be in a state of stress.

I’m still learning to embrace this. I have to keep reminding myself that everything I do doesn’t have to have a “greater purpose” or count toward a goal. It can just be fun.

Ecclesiastes 5:18–20 says,

“Here is what I have seen to be good: It is appropriate to eat, drink, and experience good in all the labor one does under the sun during the few days of his life God has given him, because that is his reward. Furthermore, everyone to whom God has given riches and wealth, he has also allowed him to enjoy them, take his reward, and rejoice in his labor. This is a gift of God, for he does not often consider the days of his life because God keeps him occupied with the joy of his heart.” (CSB).

What can you do to infuse some joy into your day?

Dana Herndon is a writer, blogger, and middle school teacher. She and her husband live in Georgia with their three children. In addition to teaching and writing, Dana loves to read, paddle board, and sometimes run. She blogs about faith, family, and enjoying the everyday life at danaherndon.com.