Are You a Reluctant Housekeeper?

Okay, I’ll admit it: housekeeping is not really my thing. Don’t get me wrong. I like a clean house as much as the next person, but as an author I much prefer to spend time in imaginary worlds rather than the (sometimes) dusty real one. And I’m okay with that. What’s more, so is my husband. I have come to terms with the fact that my home will never measure up to my sister-in-law’s meticulous, minimalist house, as everyone in my family likes books and art and craft projects and stuff that leads to mess. I’m thankful to have four creative kids.

But there are times when mess starts to mess with my head, and I know I function better (and write more productively) when things are tidy. With my husband working away from home, often for weeks or months on end, a lot of the household responsibilities fall on my shoulders, and those of my children. Now I’m no expert, but I have learned a few things along the way that help this reluctant housekeeper keep a (somewhat) tidy house.

Train Up Your Children in the Way They Should Go

Yes, this is a biblical instruction found in Proverbs 22:6. Want a happier, tidier home? Then everyone needs to contribute. Yes, this is hard when children are small, but when they’re small is where it starts. I had four children under six, and it was during these years that many of our household routines were established. Things like children putting their clothes away. Doing their pre- and post-dinner chores. If children are part of the family then it’s only right that they learn from a young age the importance of participating and contributing to a family. Now my children are older (and taller!) they are expected to remove their clothes from the washing line and deal with them appropriately. This removes the need for constant piles of laundry and helps contribute to a tidier, happier home. And it helps teach them valuable lessons about responsibility, service, and appreciation for others.

Learn to Be Content

Yes, another instruction from the Bible, this time from Hebrews 13:5, where believers are instructed to “Keep your lives from the love of money and be content with what you have…” My husband and I have never really been ones for keeping up with the Joneses. We didn’t have a television for the first few years of marriage, and only bought a new TV for the first time this year – after 21 years of marriage! Hand-me-downs have been good enough. Maybe it’s a bit of a protest against the rampant consumerism of our western society but I don’t like advertisers telling me what I have isn’t good enough. What I have is perfectly fine, thanks. I don’t need a new wardrobe every season just because someone has decided certain clothes are ‘in fashion.’ (Sidenote: Who decides what is fashionable? Why do we even listen to them?) I don’t need new furniture to make me happy. I do need my appliances to work – four children and a broken washing machine does not a happy mother make! But buying stuff for the little hit of endorphin does not lead to long-lasting happiness, especially if it leads to debt. I want my children to be wise with their finances, to not chase after happiness with dollars, and to realize that just because others have things doesn’t mean they need them. Being content, rather than caught in comparison-based consumerism, means our house is not a temple to fads and materialism.

Aim for Tidy, not Hyper-Clean

Okay, this isn’t from the Bible. But I think sometimes we have to be a little kind to ourselves. While I may want a hygienically clean house sometimes it ain’t gonna happen, so I’m better off focused on a general sense of tidiness. I do find it helpful to know when people plan to visit, because it provides a greater level of motivation to get things done. But sometimes life gets in way of the deep clean, and it’s not helpful for me to get overly stressed about it. In fact, society’s constant emphasis on cleanliness (often seen by way of those ever-helpful TV advertisements) may be doing us more harm than good. Yes, there are excellent reasons for washing our hands before meals, but using so many chemicals to wipe away any potential germ can mean the immune system has less chance to develop properly. In other words, a little bit of dirt can be a good thing. (Google it!) Just going to say here that my kids are rarely sick; my sister-in-law’s children (they of the hyper-clean home) often are at the doctor’s. Now I’m not advocating people live in pigsties, but sometimes we can get caught up in all the ‘should-dos’ of this world – which can seem never-ending. Isn’t it better to aim for clean enough, or tidy enough, and take the pressure off, especially if we are training our children in household chores? In addition to their regular chores my children also have ‘bonus’ jobs (yes, they love the irony, too) where they rotate jobs like cleaning bathrooms, vacuuming the halls, dusting and de-cobwebbing, which gives me opportunity to teach and train in these household skills. Now they don’t often complete these chores to my standards (or that of my mother-in-law!), but if I want them to develop these skills they need to hear more encouragement than criticism. And do I really want to train them to feel their life needs to revolve around keeping the cleanest house possible? That’s not a life goal I want for my children. Be tidy, yes (and that’s a big challenge with my sons!). Know how to clean, yes. But hyper-clean? Leave that for the actors on those cleaning product commercials.

Keep the Main Thing in Mind

Ultimately, what is the purpose of your home? Is it to be a showcase for your pride or a place of warmth and comfort for your family and friends? I think God cares more about our willingness to offer hospitality than he does about how neat things are. Sometimes we just need to let go of what we think is important for what truly is important, so we’re not a Martha when God wants us to be a Mary, sitting at Jesus’s feet. I cannot emphasize how important it is to get our self-worth from Jesus (and to teach our children likewise) rather than be caught up in people’s praise, how many likes we get in social media land, or the other ways that stoke our pride. We live in a world of a million distractions that all try to steal our attention from our Heavenly Father. But taking time to be still, to spend time in God’s presence, to read the Bible, to listen for that still, small voice, is of far greater worth. It’s in spending time with God that the worries of this world fade, that we find the strength needed for each day, that we learn wisdom and find peace. So in your daily time with God take a moment to pause, and allow the Holy Spirit to recalibrate your plans to be his, so your day – and your home – can be filled with grace and love and peace.

And that’s the best way to keep your home.

Carolyn Miller lives in the beautiful Southern Highlands of New South Wales, Australia, with her husband and four children. She has worked with her husband as a church pastor, a public high school teacher, and now loves drawing readers into fictional worlds that show the truth of God’s grace in our lives. Her Regency novels include The Elusive Miss Ellison, The Captivating Lady Charlotte, The Dishonorable Miss DeLancey, Winning Miss Winthrop, Miss Serena’s Secret, The Making of Mrs. Hale, and A Hero for Miss Hatherleigh, all available from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Book Depository, Koorong, etc. You can connect with her on her website, on Facebook, Pinterest, Twitter, and Instagram.

Photograph © Volha Flaxeco, used with permission