Raising Our Kids to Be the Light of the World

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. (2 Timothy 1:7 NKJV)

My daughter is in her fourth year of dance at a local dance studio. She loves the studio, where she’s been blessed to have kind, caring teachers who make dance not just instructive but fun. A friend of mine recently asked me about our experience, and when I finished telling her about how positive it’s been, she said, “But it’s not a Christian studio, right?”

I was a little bit baffled by her question.

Well, no. It’s not. But why was she even asking? Was she implying that a “Christian” dance studio would be a better choice? It turned out she was worried about getting her daughter signed up for lessons from a local Christian dance teacher, as there are few such teachers, and their classes are apparently in demand. She was wondering if my daughter’s dance studio could measure up.

I have another friend whose daughter takes lessons from a Christian ballet teacher who incorporates devotional time into their classes. And there’s nothing wrong with that–I think it’s lovely, in fact. But I also don’t see it as a dealbreaker when it comes to my own daughter’s dance classes. I just want her to enjoy the beauty of the art form, to have fun, to move her body in a healthy way. Our faith is the centerpiece of our family life, so I don’t worry about every activity we sign up for having a “Christian” stamp. We live out our faith in a variety of ways.

Not everything we do has to be in a “Christian” environment. One might even argue that not everything we do should be in a “Christian” environment. But more on that in a bit.

Our homeschool co-op isn’t “Christian.” Our theatre classes aren’t “Christian.” Our piano lessons aren’t “Christian.” Now, plenty of the people with whom we interact in all of those environments are Christians, but none of the actual groups have a “Christian” label. And yet they’ve proved to be wholesome, nurturing environments for my daughter. For that matter, my own homeschool moms’ group isn’t “Christian,” and neither is my knitting group, although I do work for a Christian company. As a family, we’re surrounded by plenty of Christians to scaffold and encourage us, both within and exclusive of our workplaces and extracurriculars, and yet we’re also recipients of kindness from non-Christians. We have relationships with non-Christians, in our families as well as among our friends. Frankly, my non-Christian friends are sometimes the people who cause me to think most deeply about the reasons for my faith.

We must remember, too, that when Jesus sent his disciples out into the world, he sent them to non-Christians.

I understand that as believers, we may think it is safer to ensure our children are spending all their time in “Christian” environments. But if we truly believe that, are we operating from a place of trust in God or from a place of fear? Are we preparing our children to live in a world full of non-believers? Are we showing them it’s good to sit at a table with the modern equivalent of the tax collectors, prostitutes, and other socially repugnant characters with whom Jesus willingly rubbed elbows? Or are we isolating them, giving them a narrow lens through which to view a black-and-white picture of the world? Are we teaching them that non-Christians are less lovable? Less worth their time?

And let’s be honest–just because something is “Christian” doesn’t mean it’s safe. The continual rise in sex crimes enacted against children in the church is proof of that. This is not to sound anti-church, only to say that we should be mindful no matter where we are–we should do our best to protect our kids in both Christian environs and secular environs, to exercise wisdom and discernment about who they spend time with and in what capacity.

A “Christian environment” is not some kind of insurance in and of itself.

I don’t write this to encourage fear or helicoptering–quite the contrary, in fact. I write it to encourage us all to relax a bit, to use our God-given common sense and logic, to raise kids who function well in the wider world. To teach our kids to do as Jesus did. Yes, we should surround ourselves with good friends who can scaffold us in our faith, as Jesus did in choosing his twelve disciples. But we should not be afraid to engage with those who do not share our faith, whether that’s at the library or gym, at the dance studio or on the soccer field. If we do not, how can we be the light Christ called us to be?

You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. (Matthew 5:14-16 NIV)

Harmony Harkema has loved the written word for as long as she can remember. A former English teacher turned editor, she has spent the past decade in the publishing industry. A writer herself in the fringe hours of her working-and-homeschooling mom life, Harmony also has a heart for leading and coaching aspiring writers. Harmony lives in Memphis with her husband and two small daughters. She blogs at harmonyharkema.com.