Who Do You Emulate?

I had a perm in kindergarten.

Every morning my mother diligently primped my hair with her curling iron to perfect it before school. (Never mind that she also had my two-year-old brother to care for at the time.) One morning, probably in a rush to do all the things, my mother accidentally singed the top of my ear. I didn’t let anyone near me with that styling tool again until I was in high school.

Three decades later, as the mother of two daughters ages three and five, I looked at pictures of my five-year-old self and wondered what in the world my mother was thinking when she gave me a perm. Apparently, though, my insistent daily requests for a curly bob just like my teacher’s wore her down over time. As ridiculous as my hair dream seems now, I know that wish was rooted in a desperate desire to emulate my role model.

Captivated by the patience, kindness, and all-around goodness of my seasoned kindergarten teacher, I wanted to follow in her footsteps. In my five-year-old mind, I suppose that process started with copying her hairstyle. She also loved Winnie-the-Pooh, and I adopted that interest too.

I’ve now spent three decades seeking out, building relationships with, and learning from female mentors. Trustworthy older women are my safety net. They’re my primary source of support and guidance, and they serve as my sounding board since losing my mother 5 years ago, especially now that I am also watching my maternal grandmother succumb to dementia.

I don’t know that I necessarily copy their appearance, but I do strive to emulate their humility and hospitality and ask for their advice and prayers in the many areas where I struggle. I look up to these wise women who are further along in their walks with faith through marriage, friendships, careers, and parenting.

In turn, I try to be a role model worthy of imitation for younger women, including my own daughters. I want to be a beacon of grace, truth, and hope in a world of women (and men) that can be incredibly selfish and mean. I know I’m not perfect and that I often mess up, but I strive to exude the goodness and kindness of my beloved kindergarten teacher to kids and adults alike.

More than that, I want to emulate biblical women role models.

As believers, we should want to display the bravery and obedience of Mary, the loyalty and dedication of Ruth, and the discernment and courage of Abigail as much as I desired that curly bob. Above all, we should want to emulate their Christlike servanthood.

Upon hearing and understanding that she would be the mother of Jesus, a terrified and unwed Mary told the angel of the Lord, “Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word” (Luke 1:38 ESV).

After losing her husband, brother-in-law, and father-in-law while living in a foreign land, Ruth told her mother-in-law,

“Do not urge me to leave you or to return from following you. For where you go I will go, and where you lodge I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there will I be buried. May the Lord do so to me and more also if anything but death parts me from you.” (Ruth 1:16–17 ESV)

Upon learning that her foolish, drunkard husband was disrespectful to the shepherd prince, Abigail threw herself at David’s feet and said to him,

“Please forgive the trespass of your servant. For the Lord will certainly make my lord a sure house, because my lord is fighting the battles of the Lord, and evil shall not be found in you so long as you live…And when the Lord has done to my lord according to all the good that he has spoken concerning you and has appointed you prince over Israel, my lord shall have no cause of grief or pangs of conscience for having shed blood without cause or for my lord working salvation himself. And when the Lord has dealt well with my lord, then remember your servant.” (1 Samuel 25:28–31 ESV)

Each of these women put the long-term glory of God above the short-term glory of themselves.

These are the mentors we should follow. These are the examples of goodness, patience, and kindness we should imitate in word and deed.

May we have a deep, childlike desire to emulate biblical role models. May our insistent daily requests for a Christlike character just like theirs be granted by our Father over time. And may we, in turn, be role models worthy of following for future generations.

(And may we never, ever give a five-year-old a perm.)

Lauren Flake writes about her journey as a wife, mom to two little girls and Alzheimer’s daughter in her native Austin, Texas, at For the Love of Dixie. Her first book, Where Did My Sweet Grandma Go? was published in 2016. She thrives on green tea, Tex-Mex, and all things turquoise.

Photograph © Priscella Du Preez, used with permission