Continue Growing

Homeschooling has been part of our life from the beginning of my boys’ school-age years. My oldest would now be in fifth grade, according to the public-school timeline. The first years felt easy. Reading to my boys and teaching them to read, count, and write brought me joy. I felt confident that I was the best teacher for them, and I enjoyed being with them.

I continued to feel confident that we were doing the right thing by homeschooling over the years, but I didn’t always believe I was doing an excellent job choosing how to educate. And I didn’t want my kids to miss out on the best education.

Looking back, I wish I had done more into research into the different methods of home education and that I had read more books about the whole idea before I started. Our decision to homeschool had surprised us, and I just dove into teaching my kids, learning with them, and enjoying the process that seemed to come so naturally in the early years.

Eventually, though, I realized that I needed more information and a better plan. I wanted to feel more comfortable and less scattered, to put real thought into what my kids were learning rather than flying by the seat of my pants.

I did use some curriculum. When my firstborn hit first grade, I knew I needed a plan for math, and I knew someone else had done that work. I looked at all the possibilities and talked to a couple of homeschool moms I trusted and picked something. But around the time he was in third grade, I learned about Charlotte Mason. I found out a bit more information about her methods and went with them, sort of flying by the seat of my pants again, yet using part of a planned-out curriculum with a bit more vision for the outcome.

That worked for a while, but then I realized I wanted to do even better as my children’s teacher. Isn’t that the process God takes us through? Get better at something, realize we’re still not as good as we want to be, and learn some more. Read the next book, listen to a podcast, go to a discussion group or a conference.

As I live out this process, I see growth in myself, and I am so thankful for that. I feel like I’m a better homeschooling mama than I was when I began this journey. I love knowing that the Lord continues to bring people and resources into my life to grow me into a more prepared and confident person, mom, and teacher.

Every time I mention to people that I homeschool, someone typically says, “I don’t think I could do that. I’m not sure of myself. I’m not the teacher type. I don’t know if I could be with my kids all day long,” or some rendition of those statements. The truth is that along this journey, I have thought all those things about myself. But I examine each statement in light of Jesus and his grace.

I can homeschool through him who gives me strength. He equips me for all the tasks he calls me to, and homeschooling is one of them. I don’t have to be sure of myself; I only have to be sure of Jesus and his guidance. I have to embrace the peace that passes my understanding about my calling, even in the moments I want to quit.

I’m not really the teacher type, either. I purposefully decided to go the route of nursing school versus teaching, and I’ve never regretted it. But the process of homeschooling is not only about teaching my kids; it’s about the joy of learning, even considering their education to be an education for me. Watching their lightbulb moments, helping them understand great stories and real history, and seeing their faith grow are all things I would miss if they were in public school. Educating my kiddos is more about experiencing the joy of learning with them than about being their “teacher.”

Admittedly, I don’t always want to be with my kids all day. Just like any mom or dad who handles the bulk of the childcare at home, I crave breaks and time off. God has blessed me with a husband who understands. He gives me time when I ask for it. I also have a babysitter my boys love. She comes to the house every week or at least every other week. Time off doesn’t have to look like time away from the house or spending money. It can be me with my feet up on my bed, blogging in peace. It can also be a playdate where I get to talk with another adult or taking my kids somewhere in God’s amazing creation to burn off some energy.

I have learned all this over five years, although it feels like eons. My aim is to continue growing. I know the Lord will guide my path, no matter how twisting and turning it becomes. I have seen all the ways he has held me up and made me better, and I believe he will continue to faithfully walk alongside me—and my kids!

Carla Clemens enjoys a crazy, beautiful life with her military husband and four sons. A baby and toddler interrupt her homeschool days in the best ways, and she is always attempting to live with mindfulness of each moment. She hopes to look at the world and each person in it in light of our amazing Creator and therefore, to see each moment presented as an opportunity to love and serve him more. Carla relishes time to ponder God’s Word and have quiet moments with him and her coffee. She loves doing life with other mamas and encouraging them to simply be who God has made them to be.

Photograph © Sharon McCutcheon, used with permission