You’ll Never Regret Pausing

Most mornings exercising in my neighborhood includes exchanging greetings with the same handful of people. We all walk the same circle at our own pace. I relish any morning walk, but a snowy winter followed by a rainy spring made this year’s summer mornings even more inviting.

Yet something was missing this summer.

Last year part of our neighborly exercise routines included avoiding an elderly gentleman sitting on the sidewalk. Yes, you read that right. My fellow morning risers and I walked, ran, and bicycled around a very happy, grandfather type individual who consistently found a comfortable place to sit somewhere along our route.

The first time I walked by this senior man he was eating what looked like oatmeal. I assumed he was waiting for the bus that stops at several points along our streets. Later that week he was sitting in a different location with no bus sign nearby. He caught my gaze as I briskly walked by and responded with the broadest smile I’ve ever seen. Somehow, he expressed joy, contentment, and a hint of mischievousness all at the same time.

Some mornings he had his breakfast with him, and other times he just carried a thermos. The only consistent thing about our encounters was his smile and that he positioned himself to face the sun.

The first time my husband joined me for a morning walk, this gentleman spotted us and clapped his hands together, grinning widely. As we passed he greeted us and said, “Good, good, good.” I chuckled as my husband mumbled, “Um, thanks?”

As autumn arrived and the mornings had a chill to them, many of my fellow exercisers defaulted to indoor workouts at the gym around the corner. But this gentleman and I held out as long as we could. As the fall sunrises lit the sky, I understood his routine. We were both savoring the last few mornings before the cold would require our habits to shift.

When winter finally broke and the spring rain eased, I discovered that the same group of early risers who’d been exercising outside the previous fall was back—except for our sidewalk sitter. Weeks of beautiful morning passed, and I still found myself glancing around corners in anticipation of seeing that joyful smile.

I can’t shake this nagging thought: I never even stopped to ask his name.

We encounter people every day who will never be anything other than a face, a smile, a weird hairdo, or a harsh word. We deal with the obligatory Sunday morning greetings, the chit-chat with the grocery store clerk, and the wave to the woman whose path we cross every day while working out. For every nameless person whose face we recognize are dozens more we barely notice.

While we can’t know everyone, I can’t help but wonder what I miss by not slowing down more often. What stories do I miss hearing? What wisdom was waiting for me to glean about life? Which happy memories did I miss sharing?

 

Another question is hard to brush away. In my hurried ways, with whom have I missed sharing God’s love? Who needed a smile and encouraging word when I couldn’t muster more than a quick nod?

One thing that stands out to me when I read about Jesus in the Gospels is that he was never in a hurry. He went out of his way to speak to the woman at the well (John 4), and he spent time answering questions from people whose only goal was to trick him into saying what they would consider inappropriate (Matthew 9)

Jesus even spent time talking to children and praying for them. Matthew 19:13–15 says, “People brought little children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them and pray for them. But the disciples rebuked them. Jesus said, ‘Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.’ When he had placed his hands on them, he went on from there” (NIV).

I’ll likely never know who that sweet elderly gentleman was or why he liked to sit on the sidewalk early in the morning, but his smile taught me a life lesson I hope I never forget: I need to slow down and savor more of life. I’m learning that from my regret and from developing a habit of pausing more frequently to engage people in conversation and listen to their stories.

Jesus modeled how to love people well, and it seemed to come naturally for him to pause and embrace interruptions. My progress is slow, but every few weeks I find myself faced with the choice to stop and chat or wave and keep walking. More and more I pause and learn a name. I often learn an interesting fact about a neighbor too.

The best part is that never once have I regretted slowing down.

Beth Walker is a football coach’s wife and mom of two energetic boys. She strives to encourage those around her to pursue their best lives in Jesus whether she is near the game field, in church, or at the local coffee shop. As a writer, Beth has been striving to find her voice through seeing Jesus in the ordinary and extraordinary of daily life. She blogs at Lessons from the Sidelines.

Photograph © Wenni Zhou, used with permission