Finding Me in a World of “Be You”
God, where are you? I wept into my pillow over some trivial hurt feelings. What began as a minor disagreement had caused me to spiral in a tailspin of emotion, leaving me to doubt my worth. I felt abandoned and alone.
The outpouring of emotion eventually ended, and only questions remained, bouncing around in my head: Where are you, Stacy? What have you been doing to be God’s vessel? Where are you finding your identity?
I wanted to give answers like “from God,” and “by the Word,” or even, “I’ve been studying the Bible.” But I knew all too well those answers weren’t true. I was living in a world of what I wanted to be. I defined myself by popularity and trends. I looked to Pinterest to tell me how to live my life. I did everything possible to make my life look like I had it all together.
The current climate is to “be you” and “live your life.” It’s self-seeking and culturally defined. I wanted to create a me that lived at the top of the social acceptance ladder. I poured everything into being who others thought I should be and called it “me.” I made myself by living how social media defined me.
Defining who I was by what pop culture finds valuable left me feeling empty. My pursuit of social status outweighed my efforts to seek Jesus, leaving me to wonder who I was made to be. Was I created to be beautiful? Would I ever be perfect? Could I find a way to be happy? I was searching for my value in stereotypes and social acceptance.
Living up to the labels and standards of our broken world will only leave us more broken. Defining who we are by who others think we should be is chasing a life we will never achieve. Our desire to be beautiful doesn’t hold us back; our definition of beauty does. Our longing to be happy might be satisfiable, but how we define happy isn’t.
When we separate the world’s definition of who we ought to be from the intended purpose given by God, we begin to find our identity as women of God. We find the ability to let go of the need for a label so we can grasp the qualities already planted in us. Labels become a place we fit rather than a place we reach for.
Living life as the woman God made requires a shift in definitions. Instead of looking at a magazine rack, a celebrity, or an academic report card, we need to look at the Bible for descriptions of a godly woman. Who did God make when he created woman? What does he desire for us? When we can properly define who God made us to be, we can live a sold-out life for Jesus without regard for how the world labels us.
How will you define yourself today?
loves all things creative. Living in Southwest Ohio with her husband and three children provides plenty of inspiration! Stacy’s new book, Labeled: Redefining the Woman God Made You to Be, redefines seven labels of a woman in today’s world, offering a biblical definition, insight, and practical solutions for changing our social definitions. Each chapter includes thoughtful questions for group study or individual reflection.
Photograph © Brooke Cagle, used with permission
