What’s Your “Wellness.com”?

We all get discouraged. Yesterday I got discouraged at least three times before three o’clock. I didn’t know I was feeling low until a friend called and asked,

“How are you?”

“Discouraged,” I said, without skipping a beat. Some friends can take an honest answer. A true friend always can. (Thanks, Andree.) I felt better after our little chat. I always feel better when I read David’s words:

“The steps of a man are established by the Lord, and He delights in his way. When he falls, he will not be hurled headlong, because the Lord is the One who holds his hand” (Psalms 37:23, 24 NASB, emphasis mine).

I love it! When he falls, he will not be hurled headlong . . . 

I’m down, but not down for the count!

God isn’t surprised when I fall. He knew I’d be discouraged three times before three o’clock. It’s a when, not an if. God knows that falling and failing and disappointments are part of life.

As believers, we can spiral downwards into a deeper pit by feeling guilty. Discouraged about feeling discouraged, we say to ourselves:

“I shouldn’t be feeling this way; I’m a Christian.”

“I shouldn’t worry about the future; I know better.”

“I shouldn’t feel like giving up; God must be ashamed of me.”

All these shouldn’t’s drive me straight to the Oreo stash, which brings another, shouldn’t, as in, “I shouldn’t have bought the double-stuffed Oreos even though they were on sale.”

Guilt over my “shouldn’t’s” authenticates my discouragement, and I forget God is holding my hand.

Discouragement comes from within and without, and the more I know myself, the better I can put my finger on what’s going on. For example, I feel better immediately if I realize I simply need more sleep or more people interaction or thirty minutes of creativity. I didn’t always know these things.

The advantage of age is self-awareness. And then following through on that knowledge.

If I’m slogging through an online course, dreading the next PowerPoint or homework assignment, I set a timer for half an hour and work on something fun, like writing a blog post or trying a new recipe. I’ve learned I need the creativity “break” to lift my spirits and invigorate my perseverance. I have friends who love ironing. Who knew? They bring out the ironing board, crank up the music, and go at it. I don’t get it, but then, they don’t get me either. “Variety is the spice of life,” my mom used to say, and God made us unique for a reason.

Ask yourself: What gives me joy? What energizes me? What can I do right now that might lift my spirits?

I learned in college that when I felt blue, if I made cookies for someone, I immediately felt better. I don’t think it was the cookie dough I inhaled while making them. I had discovered a universal truth: caring for another gets me out of unhealthy navel-gazing.

Here’s the question: When I get discouraged–because I do and I will–what will I do about it? I can’t afford retail therapy every time. The Man-in-Plaid wouldn’t like it, and I don’t need anything, anyway. (But don’t tell him I said that!)

God is our anchor, our comfort, our strength–no doubt about it. But when I feel blue, he may want me to change out something I’ve been doing or add in something else. I need to pay attention to my proclivities, lean into his truth, listen hard, and move toward what he’s telling me to do.

A good thing about discouragement is that it usually means we seek God better and harder. Another good thing is that a few hours of being “blue” helps me probe God’s wild claims of care and power and makes me examine my belief system. Do I really trust my heavenly Father? Will I live my day in faith that he knows what’s best and is moving on my behalf in ways that I can’t see?

Maybe you’ve not thought about how God uses our discouraging times. “Don’t waste your pain,” people say. As a woman and a redhead, I would add: Don’t waste a dash–or a day–of disheartenment. God’s interested in deepening your faith.

What do you do when you’re feeling discouraged?

I asked our small group, and the answers ran the gamut:

• “I get more sleep.”
• “I preach myself a sermon from God’s Word.”
• “I do the next thing until I feel better.”
• “I read a good book.”
• “I move furniture.”

I like that last one. It’s much smarter and cheaper to rearrange your furniture than to do retail therapy. Moving furniture is a lot more fun if you ask a friend over to help you do it, and then eat leftovers for lunch.

Recently, I found myself driving behind a big, white van that advertised:

“Wellness.com–Come find your personal wellness with Tim and Betty Ruth.”

Tim and Betty Ruth? Somehow I’d rather move furniture, with or without leftovers. Of course, my “personal wellness” was disrupted by the fact that Betty Ruth and Tim’s van was going twenty miles under the speed limit.

I don’t think I’ll call wellness.com.

What’s your tip for climbing out of the pit of discouragement?

My favorite of late is saying and praying Colossians 3:3, “Set your mind on things above and not the things that are on earth.”

I say it and pray it until my mind gets reset. It takes more than once.

My second personal favorite?  Accept an invitation from the Ultimate Host:

“Come unto Me and find rest” (Matthew 11:28).

Come and keep coming. Maybe I’ll see you there, and we can have tea and tuna and move a chair or two.

What’s your wellness.com?

I need to remember that discouragement happens. And that when I fall, I won’t be hurled headlong. I’ll ask God, “Is there something I need to do on my end to get out of this pit?” and then do it. I need to pray and say and set my mind again. And at least three times a day, I’ll RSVP to God’s invitation: “Come, Sue.” And I will.

As a retreat speaker, Bible teacher, or workshop leader, Sue Moore Donaldson loves sharing who God is with whoever comes her way. For her, intentional hospitality for the sake of Jesus is a joy and a privilege, and she knows it can be learned! Sue encourages you to find the reality and joy of knowing God through his Word – and that can happen at any kitchen table or back porch or BBQ. Sue and her husband Mark reside in San Luis Obispo, California where they’ve raised three daughters. Find more from Sue at Welcome Heart.

Photograph © Nik MacMillan, used with permission