We Are Enough

Do you ever feel like you’re not enough? Like you’re a big disappointment to the people in your life or even to the people on the outskirts of your life? Like you can’t possibly be or do everything people want or need from you?

I just finished watching Brené Brown’s “The Power of Vulnerability” TED talk. I was crying by the end when she talks about believing that we are enough. At church a few weeks ago, we sang “I Am a Child of God.” The words talk about no longer being a slave to fear as children of God.

Do I believe I don’t have to be a slave to fear? Do you believe this about you?

That song makes me cry almost every time I hear it, so I know I still have work to do. Sometimes I allow fear to control me, and I think that fear stems from believing I’m not enough, that I can’t be myself, be authentic, without judgment. I worry people will pick me apart, find something to criticize, never think I’m enough.

Fear is the sin of not trusting that Jesus saved us from sin and took it away, as far as the east is from the west. Therein lies the problem. I’m thinking too much about what others think when Jesus is the only one whose approval I should be seeking. I’m not remembering that, in his grace, Jesus took away my sin. He gives me the opportunity to live a life constantly being sanctified, which means growing in divine grace. I think about this as how much I am being like Jesus. Am I giving other people undeserved favor? Am I letting love break through? Am I living in line with the Word? Am I living a life of kindness and love? Are the words I’m speaking gentle ones of grace and truth?

I will always have work to do on the state of my heart and the growth of my character. Nevertheless, Jesus meets me right in my mess, right where I am, every time. I am enough for him, every time. My mess will never be too big for him.

However, I cannot control the feelings of others. Surely, I have let people down, whether or not I knew it, and for these times I truly feel sorry. The truth, though, is that I can never actually be enough for any other human, even the ones God has given me within my own home, especially if they’re looking to me to be their “enough.” I will always let them down because I can’t see the full picture like God can.

We must each look to Jesus for that sense of completeness we long for, and no matter how hard we try, no other person will be able to meet that need. We each must accept that knowing Jesus makes us his beloved children, and therefore we can believe we really are enough.

So how can we step into that and hold on to it?

My dissatisfaction and worry about not being enough surface during the trials and conflicts in my life. During those times, I need to remember that in John 8:36 Jesus says, “If the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed” (NIV). Being free means I can know I am enough, no matter what any human person thinks. I’m worthy of love just because God put me here. The gift of grabbing onto the knowledge of that worthiness is that I can then turn around and give it to other people, showing them the grace of Jesus’s love even when I feel wronged.

We need to surround ourselves with a core of people who uplift us and help us grow into “little Christs,” a concept I love from C. S. Lewis’s Mere Christianity. Do I have people who will tell me the truth about my decisions and behavior, and let me know when my words are too harsh? Do they do this without making me feel so dogged that I want to quit growing?

Fortunately, I do have a few people like this in my life, but it took a while to find them. Allowing ourselves to be vulnerable is hard, and it takes time to ascertain who is trustworthy with our hearts. But it’s so worth the wait, and even the uneasiness or the times when we realize we were wrong about someone. Those times help us grow and be more discerning about the kind of people who can help us be like Jesus.

Paying attention to the circumstances we allow in our lives is important as well. We can’t always control what happens around us, but when we can, we should try to determine whether it’s good for our growth and our ability to sustain what growth we have already seen in ourselves. Am I pulled in so many directions that I’m not happy, and therefore I’m not a grace-giver to those around me? Am I doing so little that I’m not growing at all? Am I doing the right things in the first place? Do I have peace?

Take a personal inventory to determine if you can change your circumstances to allow you to both give grace and have peace, the opposite of that fear I mentioned earlier.

We are all enough. We don’t have to live in fear. Jesus is always near.

Carla Clemens enjoys a crazy, beautiful life with her military husband and four sons. A baby and toddler interrupt her homeschool days in the best ways, and she is always attempting to live with mindfulness of each moment. She hopes to look at the world and each person in it in light of our amazing Creator and therefore, to see each moment presented as an opportunity to love and serve him more. Carla relishes time to ponder God’s Word and have quiet moments with him and her coffee. She loves doing life with other mamas and encouraging them to simply be who God has made them to be.