Is Love on Your To-Do List?

A 3×5 card hangs on my fridge with a three-line to-do list. The first two items are filled in with “Love God” and “Love Others.” The designer left the third line blank, and my daughter recently wrote in “Love Dogs.” My husband and I joke that, at only seven, she’s discovered the key to a happy life.

The list is simplistic but begs a complicated question: What are the key ingredients to a joyful, purposeful life?

In early June this year, two celebrities hung themselves in the same week. We tend to think the rich and famous are immune to deep sorrow, but the headlines prove this a lie.

As someone who battles mental health issues, hearing about suicide hits me hard. I have been in those dark places where fear and despair are the loudest voices in your ear. My heart aches when I learn the darkness became too much to bear for someone.

Mental health is a complicated issue. Science and psychology speculate numerous causes of mental health issues, ranging from trauma, stress, and loneliness to chemical imbalances in the brain. As someone who struggles with depression and anxiety, I know no straightforward solution to fostering thriving mental health exists. Many of the factors that contribute to a healthy brain and thought life are beyond our control. But we can do some things to improve our mental health no matter what cards we’re dealt.

When I feel overwhelmed or depleted, I often look at the card on my fridge. I find when my life reflects a love for God and others, fulfillment is near.

My daughter’s line on that card is cute, but if I designed the card, my third line would say, “Love yourself.”

We take the command to love others out of context when we separate it from enjoying ourselves. When asked about the greatest of the commandments, Jesus called us to love God and “love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:39 ESV).

Do you know how immense is God’s love for you? Do you think it’s possible to love yourself that way? If you treated and spoke to others the way you talk to yourself, would those words and actions embody love?

The Bible indeed speaks of our sin. We all fall short and need to approach the throne of God with a repentant heart. Still, God looks at us with undying love. When we focus too much on our sinful nature, we overlook how wonderfully and uniquely God designed each of us with purpose and care.

I used to think loving myself was selfish or sinful. We do need to be careful not to put love for ourselves above our love for God; we owe everything to him, including our very being. God is explicit in his command that we are his dear children, created to be loved not just by him or others, but also by ourselves. Jesus advises us to love ourselves well so we can pour that love out on the world.

What does loving you look like?

Loving Your Body

After thirty-six years of living with gravity, six of them spent pregnant or nursing, and my love for nachos, I would not fit the ideal body image plastered in magazines and on the internet. I am a substantial size 12. My dimpled thighs spread like warm butter when I sit down.

My body may not look culturally ideal, but I adore it. I try not to let a day go by without thanking God for the gift of a physical body. My arms lift fifty-pound bags of chicken feed, wrap around my husband, and cuddle my kids. My legs have carried me through a full marathon. My soft belly cradled unborn life, and my strong muscles brought that life into the world.

I get to taste chocolate, smell lavender, and see the ocean. The lines on my face reflect a million smiles. What an incredible grace.

I am fearfully and wonderfully made. So are you. Embrace a love for your body as it is. Care for your body as the most precious present. Give it plenty of rest, water, and nourishment. Speak kindly to it, aloud and in your mind. Take your vitamins and your medicine.

Loving Your Soul

In addition to the incredible gift of a physical body, God gave us an eternal soul. Self-care is a buzzword these days, usually accompanied by a picture of bubble baths and pedicures. Yet self-care is about so much more than freshly painted toes. Self-care is just as much soul care as it is physical care.

Soul care means filling your heart and mind with God’s promises and love for you. It means unplugging when you feel overwhelmed and sharing your hurts in prayer or with trusted counselors. It looks like surrounding yourself with supportive friends. It involves filling your cup with activities that bring you life.

I look at the world today and see a lot of hurt, bitter people hurting other people. I wonder if so many of us feel lost, angry, or hopeless and treat others with a lack of humanity because we’ve forgotten how to love ourselves. The world screams that we are too ugly, too fat, too sensitive, too thin, not cool enough, not brave enough, and not young enough.

When the world is screaming, seek silence. Find a quiet space to be still. Tune out the screaming and listen to the love God whispers over you in Scripture, a love strong enough to sacrifice everything to save you.

Find joy and purpose in this life by fulfilling the greatest of the commandments: love God, love others, love yourself. This may be the last to-do list you’ll ever need.

Lindsay Hufford is a writer, slow marathoner, home educator and mediocre knitter. Her favorite things include books, kombucha, kitchen dancing, natural wellness, Jesus, and nachos. She spends days with her handsome hubby, three adorable kids, a flock of hens, a runaway peahen, wandering barn cat, and rescue dog. Lindsay shares ways to live simply and love extravagantly at www.lindsayhufford.com.

Photograph © Tyler Nix, used with permission