Don’t Lose Confidence

At the end of summer in 2017, my youngest son, who was five at the time, learned to swim sans his trusty floaty. We had worked all summer at the pool so he could gain confidence in his ability. We started by having him put his head under the water, then progressed to his grabbing a swim ring from the bottom of the pool. Next came multiple attempts at putting everything he learned with what he knew he could do.

After every attempt, you could visibly see he was making progress, and he, too, could tell he was almost there. His confidence was building, and he believed he could do it. He didn’t want to give up; he knew success was only a few attempts away, and he was confident he was going to learn to swim. As his confidence grew, his fear of not being able to swim diminished.

Watching your child do something for the first time is exciting, and we were incredibly proud of our son when he learned to swim. The last weeks of summer were full of wonder as he enjoyed his newfound ability.

Then the warm weather ended, and it was months before he would be in a pool again.

This summer, he stood in the pool—frozen—not because he was cold, but because fear paralyzed him. Everything he’d learned—the confidence he had built months before—had vanished. The fear returned and spoke lies to him. He looked at me and said, “I don’t know how to swim.”

He was unwilling to even try. Fear was holding him back.

We went back to the basics. We played in the water and talked about all the fun things he had learned to do the previous summer. I asked if he could blow some bubbles with his face in the water. Reluctantly, he tried, and did. A smile blossomed across his face. I asked if he thought he could do a bob and put his head under the water. Little by little, he was willing to try the next step, but he was still a far cry from attempting to swim.

When we got home from the pool that first day, I showed him the videos on my phone of him swimming the previous summer. He watched them over and over, building up his confidence. Reminding ourselves of something we accomplished in our past helps propel us into the future.

A few days later, just before we headed back to the pool, my son told me he was ready to try to swim. We got into the pool and again went through the basics—blew some bubbles, did some bobs. He even started to walk around the pool and say he was warming up. Although I couldn’t hear him, I’m pretty sure there were some I think I can, I think I can pep talks going on in his head.

He made his way back to me and told me he was ready to try.

Success! He was thrilled he could swim, and he immediately called for his older brother and sisters to come and watch him. He’d found his confidence.

When I considered this whole situation, I thought about how I, too, lose my confidence when I don’t do something for a long time. It’s easy to give fear a megaphone and allow our confidence to be reduced to a whisper.

More devastating is when I haven’t been in constant connection with God and I lose confidence in him and his ability. When I’m not in his Word regularly, or I’m not reaching out to him in prayer, fear creeps in and takes up residence.

Scripture tells us in Hebrews 10:35–36 (NIV), “Do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.”

My confidence is in Christ, and I should never throw it away. But when I don’t make Jesus a priority, I am slowly throwing my confidence away, piece by piece.

What lie is fear trying to speak into your life right now? In what area have you allowed fear to take up residence? Where have you lost confidence?

If you’re struggling, if fear is overcoming your confidence, cling to Jesus. He is our confidence. What part of your past do you need to replay in your mind so you can remember God’s faithful hand in action?

Paul’s words in Hebrews encourage us with the promise of being richly rewarded if we persevere. So in the words of Dory in the film Finding Dory, “Just keep swimming.”

Heather Gerwing is a homeschooling mom of four. She is a Jersey girl at heart but now lives in Michigan with her husband Jeff and their kids. Heather enjoys reading, coffee-ing, worshipping and writing. She is passionate about her family and living the full life. You can find her at heathergerwing.com.

Photograph © Frank McKenna, used with permission