Are You Blooming Where You’re Planted?

My six-year-old daughter is most definitely an introvert.

After a full morning of Vacation Bible School with her self-proclaimed BFF this summer, she was perfectly content to hang out with me downstairs instead of playing Barbies upstairs with her guest and little sister. When I asked why she didn’t go upstairs with them, she told me she didn’t want to play what they were playing.

She wasn’t upset about the situation, but her mind was made up. Instead of briefly compromising her own preferences to join in her sister and friend’s afternoon of fun, she decided to forgo participating altogether. At first, I was slightly confused and even a little disappointed by her behavior, but then I realized we do this all the time as adults.

I frequently step away from service opportunities or social events, even when they involve my close friends, because I’m too tired or don’t feel like participating. It could be the borderline introvert tendencies in me rising to the surface, or it could be that I’m letting personal preference rule my heart. It could be that I’m selfishly choosing my own comfort over building community for God’s glory.

In a culture that stresses individualism and a follow-your-arrow, you-do-you mentality, we’re easily tempted to immediately take our ball and go home whenever we don’t get our way. A plethora of options at our fingertips empowers us to be perpetually picky. For better or for worse, American consumerism offers us the constant ability to choose in almost every aspect of our lives.

If we don’t like the vibe of a certain moms’ group, we can leave and form a new group of moms. If we don’t like the size or style of our house, we can sell it and buy another one in a different neighborhood. If we don’t like the worship band or pastor at one church, we can leave and find another church down the road.

When we’re constantly willing to leave and start over at the drop of a hat for the sake of our preferences, though, we lose the chance to build lasting relationships in the community where God has placed us. This can have long-term, detrimental consequences, especially in the body of believers.

According to the apostle Paul, we’re called to sacrifice and lay down our preferences for the sake of unity in the local church and beyond. We’re called to let Christ rule in our hearts, instead of being slaves to the divisive nature of personal preference. He says in Romans 15:5–6 (ESV),

“May the God of endurance and encouragement grant you to live in such harmony with one another, in accord with Christ Jesus, that together you may with one voice glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.”

Prioritizing our preferences is a privilege, not a right. It’s much easier to give up and move on from a group of people than it is to stick it out and make peace living in their presence.

Maybe we leave because we’re not the center of attention. I wondered if this was the case with my six-year-old that day, when she casually mentioned, “Well, they’re sure getting along today.”

God doesn’t call us to the be the most important or popular girl in the room. As an ESTJ (“The Executive”) on the Myers-Briggs assessment, I was disappointed to learn he didn’t even call us to oversee the other people in the room! He did, however, call us to play our own humble yet important part in the beautiful orchestra that is his church.

Jen Hatmaker says it best in her bestselling book, For the Love: “We are called to this work, and it might not seem like much, but if you play your one note and I play mine and she plays hers, together it will create a beautiful song that sounds like freedom.”

He calls us to lift up one another as we press onward, focusing our hearts and minds on Jesus instead of ourselves. He calls us to add our note to the sound of his praise, laying down our earthly differences with one another for the sake of his eternal glory. He calls us to play, instead of taking our ball—or instrument, as it were—and going home. He calls us to be a team player each day because his orchestra is complete only when we participate.

Only there, in our God-appointed place in his church, will we truly learn from one another and grow together in spiritual maturity. Only there, in the beautiful garden that makes up his kingdom, will we finally bloom where we’re planted. Only there, amid the diversity of his believers and the difficult but worthwhile tension between truth and grace will we catch a glimpse of the perfect harmony of heaven that awaits us.

Lauren Flake writes about her journey as a wife, mom to two little girls and Alzheimer’s daughter in her native Austin, Texas, at For the Love of Dixie. Her first book, Where Did My Sweet Grandma Go? was published in 2016. She thrives on green tea, Tex-Mex, and all things turquoise.

Photograph © Julie Johnson, used with permission