Finding Peace in the Pause

I am exhausted from the weight of the world’s expectations, and from the effort of standing up under them. From stamping down the constant noise, the clamoring, the consistent hum of anxiety vibrating through my very soul on a daily basis.

It’s so much. It’s too much. It’s pervasive. And some days, I feel physically short of breath as though I’m choking on my inability to balance it all, do it all, and have it all . . . Anybody tracking with me here?

I know in my heart that time with God is the answer to my agitated state. I believe when he tells me his peace surpasses my understanding if I will just pause long enough to reach for it.

I just get to the point where I can’t figure out how to find time to pause. And sadly, even when I do, my spinning mind won’t slow down long enough for me to truly focus on time spent in the sacred.

I feel frustrated and alone, like I’m not enough: fast enough, efficient enough, pious enough, faithful enough. It’s daunting. It’s debilitating.

It’s actually quite common.

Let’s rewind a few years and take a look at a girl after my own heart.

In Luke 10:38-40, we find Jesus at a dinner party. The story goes like this:

“As Jesus and the disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, ‘Lord, why don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!’”

Let’s break this down, shall we?

Martha. Sister. Honey. How you forget yourself.

I can picture it in my mind’s eye. Martha is bustling around. She’s frazzled and irritated, done with everyone and totally over it all. She just can’t take it anymore. She throws her hands in the air and snaps.

At God.

I imagine her, one hand on her hip, the other waving about as she calls across the room, “Hello?!?! Yoo-hoo! Yeah. Hi, Jesus? Perhaps You haven’t noticed as You sit there “abiding” and all, but I’m busting my hump over here. I’m taking care of business serving you and your peeps. Making this house worthy of your presence. A House of Worship, if you will. And she’s just sitting there at your feet, staring at you all adoring-like. I mean, don’t get me wrong–I love you and all (heart, soul, mind, strength, etc.), but that doesn’t stop me from getting stuff done.”

Martha goes even further. Not only does she have the gall to call Jesus out, but she actually barks orders at him. At the Son of God. The Messiah. The Savior. The Chosen One. The One whom her people have prayed about and waited on for 400 years.

She completely loses her mind.

I can just imagine it–sarcasm dripping from her words, exasperation filling her voice. And it’s easy, initially, to roll my eyes as I chuckle a little, wagging my finger in her face.

It’s all fun and games and good-natured judgment until I realize that the reason I so easily envision this, the reason I so clearly hear her, is that she sounds just like me.

Her tone. Her cadence. Her irritation. It’s all too familiar.

It’s familiar because it’s how I sound more often than I care to admit. My inner dialogue reflects her outer comments on a regular basis.

She has a chance for an evening in the presence of God. He’s in her home! His presence is filling her intimate world and space. And she’s missing it, because she’s gotten busy, wrapped around the axle, lost in the details.

I know that feeling of worry and upset over many things.  There’s always something to worry about. There’s always a task that needs doing or people who require serving.

Martha wasn’t wrong to serve. She just had to remember who and why she was serving, then take time to be with him when he showed up.

When Martha temporarily lost her mind and snapped at Jesus, he answered her with the same love and wisdom he showed throughout his life.  His words rock me to the core: “Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has made the right choice, and it will not be taken away from her (Luke 10:41-42).”

He never says that working for Him, or having a servant’s heart is wrong.

He points out that she’s missing what’s better. What’s eternal. What’s needed.

The world is constant in its ability to upset and stress and weigh us down.  We can never run fast enough to keep up, can we? It’s a relief to know we don’t have to.

He meets us where we are. His example of love and relationship shows us just where to focus and helps us discern the right choice.

Once we have Jesus, once we grasp his grace and love and mercy, it will never be taken away from us. There’s incredible peace in that. It’s certainly worth the pause.

Rebecca Greebon is a wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, and child of the One True King. She has a passion for sharing with others how amazing they are, how much they are loved, and how blessed every day is, even when we are lost or distracted or completely over ourselves and the world. Rebecca blogs at theriverchick.com.

Photograph © Joanna Nix, used with permission