When We Ask

My daughter, Elliana, has this amusing habit when she wants something from me. Not just any old something, mind you, but something she thinks I won’t give her. She’ll say with a big heavy sigh, “I wish I could have candy.” Or she’ll drop her head and shoulders and mumble, “I bet you won’t let me watch TV right now.”

She doesn’t actually ask me for anything. She “wishes” for it or “bets me” that I won’t let her have it. Sometimes she doesn’t even say these things directly to me. She says them just loud enough for me to hear them, though.

It tickles me and irritates me at the same time.

I used to ignore her when she’d do this, hoping she’d get the hint to ask for things properly. But she didn’t take the hint. So I started responding to her statements with, “Are you asking me? Or just wishing for it?” She still didn’t take the hint.

Finally, I spoke plainly to her: “If you want a piece of candy, then ask me. Say, ‘Mom, may I please have a piece of candy?’”

See, I will always give her what she needs because I am her mother. I’ll even surprise her with special treats beyond what she needs because I’m a really nice mother. (I will also embarrass the heck out of her in front her friends when she’s a teen because I’m an awesome mother.) Even if I don’t really think she needs candy or TV (she doesn’t), I will sometimes give it to her only because she asked.

I realize I’m just like Elliana in prayer. I often find myself “wishing” for God to move, or “talking about” my friend who needs healing, or “worrying” about that child who needs a course correction. Turns out, thinking about problems is not the same as praying about problems. Worrying about my kids is not the same as praying for my kids. And telling a friend I will pray is not the same as praying for that friend.

God has already given us everything we need, but he invites us to ask for what we want. In the Bible we see that Jesus said:

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you” (Matthew 7:7 NIV).

“Ask me, and I will make the nations your inheritance, the ends of the earth your possession” (Psalm 2:8 NIV).

“You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.” (John 14:14 NIV)

“If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.” (John 15:7 NIV)

Lately, I’ve been taking my own parenting advice and properly asking God for what I really want. I’m not talking about materialistic name-it-and-claim-it prayers. I’m talking about taking God up on his invitation to ask for things I don’t have and believing he’s a good and loving Father who will always give me what is best.

Sandy Cooper is the Leader of Women’s Ministry at New Life Church in Louisville, a Bible study teacher, and author. She helps frazzled women find peace. Her greatest accomplishments include surviving the death of her 9-month-old son (Noah), surviving an ongoing battle with clinical depression, and finding a laundry system that actually works (the search for which may or may not have contributed to the depression). She lives in Louisville, Kentucky with Jon (her husband of 24 years) and her three living children Rebekah (18), Elijah (16) and Elliana (11). You can find Sandy at her personal blog, where she has been blogging for a decade, and in her latest book, Finding Your Balance (available on Amazon).

Photograph © Naassom Azevedo, used with permission