God As Father
“Our Father in heaven…” (Matthew 6:9 NIV)
Unlike women whose fathers’ choices and failings have led to neglect, abuse, or chaotic homes, I have no difficulty remembering and celebrating my late father’s life on Father’s Day. He was a fine man and a good parent to me. I loved him.
Yet when considering our triune God, I have sometimes more easily understood Jesus as Savior and the Holy Spirit as Teacher and Comforter than I have God as Father.
Fathers Can Disappoint
Although I know my dad loved me and certainly provided security, as I was growing up my relationship with him bore an underlying disappointment: for whatever reason, he was too emotionally distant.
Whether he was responding to a misbehavior or a simple ask, he was most often the “Wait until your mother gets home” dad—no discussion. I don’t remember hugs or kisses. If I ever sat on his lap or wrestled with him on the floor, I don’t remember it. Few photographs picture him holding me. Perhaps he did do those things more than I know, but in my memory, he reached out to me so seldom that it’s probably no wonder I distinctly remember a couple of specific times when he did reach out.
I’m not one to indulge in analytical musings for which I have little to no training, but I think Dad’s role as a pastor might have also affected how I saw God as Father. Dad was “the man in the pulpit,” committed to his call from the Lord. Small children sometimes considered him God until their parents gently set them straight, and parishioners called him “Pastor,” designating his special status—to them. I think, though, that his presence up on that platform—week after week, year after year—might have symbolized for me that he belonged to his congregations more than to me. Although I don’t think I ever heard him utter these words, the church is my first responsibility came across in our interactions. (Today pastors receive more encouragement to ensure their families come before what can be their all-encompassing work in the church.)
Did Dad realize I felt this distance? Probably not; rather than expressing it, I accepted it. But when I left for college, he seemed to have an epiphany or awakening. He became more outwardly affectionate and engaging. Years later he apologized for “being so hard” on me, but I think he meant—and felt—I had experienced not a hardness, but a distance.
I have also come to realize that although I have certainly forgiven him for any such failing, that disappointment called “distance” might have played a part in my not fully grasping God as “Father” for far too long.
We Fail, but God Does Not
Somewhere deep inside, I think, I also believed I had to do all things “right” for Dad to fully engage with me. Of course, all the right I could perform didn’t result in less distance, but only to seeking everyone’s approval. Only accepting my heavenly Father’s love for me through his Son’s sacrifice freed me for ultimate engagement with him and began to tamp down my efforts to please others. Even today, only grasping his acceptance daily allows his self-claimed, unfailing, and close role as my Father to build on the relationship we both want.
With his help, then, I must continually root out any lingering perception or whisper telling me that God as my Father is distant. The triune God expects me to continually grow into fully embracing all aspects of his being—resting in the knowledge that he is fully present as my Savior, my Teacher and Comforter, and certainly my Father. That growth leads to the desire to be and do right in his sight because of his perfect love.
Lord, earthly fathers and father figures are imperfect human beings. Sometimes they fail or disappoint us, many times unintentionally. But you never fail us, and we must always remember that truth. To truly live in closeness with you, we must accept your love through Jesus and engage with you in ways not possible with any human being. We desire your approval, not to earn the love you freely offer, but because we return your love. Thank you, Father, for your unfailing love, protection, and presence. Amen.
Scripture for Reflection
We know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. (1 John 4:16 NIV)
How precious is your unfailing love, O God! (Psalm 36:7 NLT)
See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God (1 John 3:1 ESV)
Reach for More
Does an underlying struggle affect your fully engaging with God as your Father? Ask the Lord to help you define and deal with it. But above all, grasp the truth that God’s love as your Father is sure. No hurt or disappointment with a human father, stepfather, father figure, or any human being can negate God’s role as your Father. His love is unfailing.
is a champion coffee drinker and a freelance editor and writer for Christian publishers and ministries. She doesn’t garden, bake, or knit, but insists playing Scrabble is exactly the same thing. Jean and her husband, Cal, live in central Indiana. They have three children (plus two who married in) and five grandchildren. She blogs at bloominwordstoo.blogspot.com.
Photograph © Craig Whitehead, used with permission
