Giving the Gift of Rest

In Matthew 11:28 (NIV), Jesus said, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”

When I’m in the midst of weariness and burden, Christ offers me rest. When I’m tired and weak from emotion and heartache, I can find intermission. I turn, and there he is, arms open wide, giving permission to toss my to-do list aside.

Wouldn’t it be amazing if I could offer that kind of rest to those with whom I have a relationship, especially in ways that won’t make them feel they must reciprocate in moments when they’re unable to do so?

I’ve figured out how to offer rest to my husband. He watches sports, sits around the firepit, or naps on the couch. He doesn’t need me to pursue him all the time. And even though I’m always after his heart, his heart must first be reserved for his relationship with Jesus. I must respect and encourage that.

In offering rest for him, I’ve learned to do the same for my family and friends. When marriages are rocky, grief takes over, or work is feeling apocalyptic for any of them, I can be pursuant in our relationship and lay low at the same time. The key is to love unconditionally.

I can show love through a quick text, a card, or a phone call. I can pursue others through prayer, both for our relationship and for them. I can effectively lower my expectation that they’ll reciprocate my pursuit of relationship, giving them some space and room to grow. I can love from afar.

If we gift grace to those who need a break, if we lower our expectations when the rest of life is chaotic, we can provide mercy for those we love, allowing them a reprieve.

The past year has been a roller coaster of crazy for my family. We’ve survived many firsts and many moments when my late father’s absence was fully felt. We also learned to cling to one another, to laugh and to love. We hold together tight, and yet we give each other space.

Some days hurting people need to sit and reflect. Other days physical work is the best medicine. The hard part is determining when to leave someone to their own devices. It never hurts any of us to ask. The welcome shadow of a friend once came over me as I sat at the cemetery alone. I hadn’t planned on company, but this person’s intuition was a godsend.

Sometimes I’m up to my neck in creating, alone in my office, glad for the silence of the house. I choose to ignore phone calls, emails, and texts. When I don’t respond I normally get a message of understanding and support. While I don’t post my intention for each day on my social media accounts, it doesn’t take much for friends and family to catch on to the plan. If I need a moment, I get an “I love you. Call me later.” If I need a living, breathing person in my midst, we make a coffee or lunch plan. It really is this simple.

Jesus keeps it simple as well. His example of taking time to himself to grieve, pray, and reset has become important to me. In the hustle and bustle of being a wife, a momma, and Mimi, even as a believer I can lose my way. Jesus is always there in Scripture and spirit, ready to give me rest. He’s shown me it’s okay to be alone. It’s okay to take a moment to cry, meditate, and rest. He expresses his love for me by pursuing my heart quietly. He’s taught me the greatest commandments are to love, first him and then people, and in loving people, we sometimes must allow them exactly what our own spirit craves—rest.

Angie Dailey lives in rural Ohio with her husband and family. She spends her best and most important time with the Creator of the Universe and with her family. She loves coffee, Jesus, and gardening, but not necessarily in that order. Angie blogs at angiedailey.com.