Cultivating Lifelong Friendships

When I look at the friendships I’ve had over the course of forty-plus years, I’m overwhelmed with gratitude. Not because I’ve had an abundance of friendships, but because my friendships have made my life richer and challenged me to be who I am today.

An old saying notes three kinds of friendships: Friends for a Reason, Friends for a Season, and Friends for a Lifetime. Unfortunately, I think we often focus our time and energy on the Reason and Season friends more than the Lifetime friends.

I’ve shed many tears grieving the loss of friendships that fell into the Reason or Season categories. How often, though, do I take the time to celebrate friendships that fall into the Lifetime category?

I was recently reminded of the gift of a Lifetime friend when I visited my hometown and my old church. I moved away thirteen years ago, and I hadn’t seen a good friend who attends my former church for a year. We don’t keep in regular contact, but I texted her a heads-up that I’d be there. When I entered the building, she was waiting for me with a welcoming hug. Even though I hadn’t seen her for so many months, that hug was familiar.

As we were standing with our hands lifted, singing “How Great Is Our God,” my dear friend leaned over, put her arm around me, and whispered, “This feels so good.” Even though it had been years since she and I stood next to each other worshiping, it felt just the same. How our friendship looks day to day has changed, but the love I have for her hasn’t. She is a Lifetime friend.

Last summer I had to deal with a friend moving out of state. She lived just a few miles from me, and we spent a lot of time together. We led a ministry for new moms while raising our own kids—seven altogether. We shared family meals and playdates at the park, and we even road-tripped to some homeschool conferences together. We texted each other approximately 746 times a day.

When she had to move because of her husband’s job, I mourned, believing our friendship would end. Then, over the holidays, my friend came back to visit her family, and we got together for coffee. Sitting across from her that day, I realized I had nothing to mourn. Yes, our friendship looks different than it did a couple of years ago. Texts are too infrequent, and we obviously no longer share weekly dinners, but she’s a Lifetime friend, and I’m so thankful for her.

As I was thinking about these two friends, I recalled the song “Friends” by Michael W. Smith. I looked up how that song came about, and sure enough, it was written for a friend who was moving away. Just because distance changes how a friendship looks from day to day, it doesn’t necessarily mean the friendship itself has changed. As the line from that song says, “A lifetime’s not too long to live as friends.”

I’m so thankful for all the friends I have had—the Reason friends and the Season friends, but especially the Lifetime friends. When was the last time you reached out to a Lifetime friend and let her know you’re thankful for her? Take the time today to celebrate the gift of lifelong friendship.

Heather Gerwing is a homeschooling mom of four. She is a Jersey girl at heart but now lives in Michigan with her husband Jeff and their kids. Heather enjoys reading, coffee-ing, worshipping and writing. She is passionate about her family and living the full life. You can find her at heathergerwing.com.

Photograph © Katie Treadway, used with permission