Trusting God in Your Whatever

“Well, I guess it’s my turn,” she said, referring to her brand-new cancer diagnosis. Although the cancer was, of course, unwelcome, it was as if she had been expecting it. Like it was a hopeless inevitability.

Will “my turn” for cancer come? Which of my loved ones will die next? What pain or disappointment will come in my treasured relationships? How do I go about trusting God in my whatever?

Turning fifty has tuned me in to my mortality and lack of control over the trajectory of my life. I know my earthly body will not always be able to bear the weight of this broken world. This is increasingly obvious as I fiddle with my reading glasses to write this. And as I fight my genetic disposition to high cholesterol, I sometimes wonder when that last tick of my heart will come.

If I thought too long about my lack of control, I would live in constant fear of the next wave of bad news or trying to outrun my last heartbeat. Life would be an exhausting race of trying to stay a step ahead of the next hard thing. I know this way of life because I’ve lived it.

When my marriage nearly went up in flames, I found myself free-falling into waves of despair and fear. Waking up each morning waiting for my world to collapse and suck me into the abyss; it paralyzed me. I could feel the next wave coming. I expected it.

John 16:33 assures us that trouble will come. Our world is broken and we are not safe here. I know, not super comforting, right? But knowing this is true, how do I get a handle on all that threatens my security? Where’s my lifeline?

Enter hope.

“He is before all things, and in him all things hold together” (Colossians 1:17 NIV). This verse reminded me that God was not in any way caught off-guard by my situation. I was comforted knowing I wasn’t alone in trying to keep everything together.

I know what it feels like to be at the brink of losing everything I love. But I also know how the faith of a David-sized stone can conquer my Goliath-sized fear (1 Samuel 17 NIV). Now I can view the pangs of potential reality through a different lens. A lens of hope.

 In the season when everything in which I had placed my security bottomed out, God and I had a chat. I told him how angry I was that this was happening. I told him how confused I was that he had allowed it to happen. I told him how alone I felt and that he was all I had left.

When all seemed lost, he gently whispered to my soul, “Good, now I can work with this.”

God taught me that he was there before it happened, he is in it with me, and he will hold it all together. Whatever “it” is.

Whatever happens, he already knows.

Whatever happens, he’s in it with me.

Whatever happens, I can trust him.

Whatever happens, I will be okay.

Maybe I am waiting for my turn at cancer. Maybe I am waiting for another dose of marital disharmony. Maybe I’m waiting for clarity in my next step, or maybe I’m even waiting for death. Regardless of what I’m waiting for, I am confident that if the bottom drops out from underneath me, I’ll fall into his very capable and loving arms.

I’m reminded of this comfort when I see a simple framed piece of art my sister gave me. It reads, Dear Andrea, Trust me. I have everything under control. ~Jesus

As you wait for your “whatever,” I pray you will place your trust in him. Trust that he alone is enough. Know that he is ever faithful. He’s got this, all of this, under control. His capable and loving arms are waiting to catch you. The best thing you can do is let him.

Andrea Stunz is a wife, mom, mother-in-law, and a ridiculously proud grandmother. She is a well-traveled foodie and a stumbling pilgrim always on the hunt for good coffee and a gorgeous sunrise. She loves sharing stories and finds her hope in Colossians 1:17. Connect with Andrea on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter, and find more of her writings at AndreaStunz.com.

Photograph © Taylor Ann Wright, used with permission