What Does True Rest Look Like?

The past year has been a difficult one, full of challenges much like the decade before it. I sometimes feel like a battered ship struggling to stay afloat in an unrelenting storm. And last fall, the seemingly endless stress of balancing marriage, motherhood, and caregiving—while trying to “keep it all together” and hide my depression and anxiety in public—finally caught up with me.

In between my late mom’s birthday and my grandmother’s ninety-second birthday, I had a respiratory illness and lost my voice for a week. Then I went on a women’s retreat with my church and had what was presumably a gallbladder attack on the first night away from home. I was dizzy, weak, fatigued, and in pain. Most of all, I was scared.

I realized my immune system was wrecked, my mind was tired, and my emotions were frayed. At thirty-three years old, I decided it might be time to throw in the towel on the striving for perfection gig and begin living into God’s promises instead. That month, God showed me that once again, I was stretched too thin to do the important kingdom work he was calling me to do—like loving my own children and the people around me well.

My knee-jerk reaction when I’m overwhelmed is often to take a break from serving God and his people, but I know true rest doesn’t come outside of obedience to Jesus. Sometimes I just need to reframe what service looks like for a season. Every seemingly insignificant act of service we do with great love is kingdom work, whether it’s laundry or cleaning or teaching a child to tie a shoe. If we’re not doing those small acts of obedience with a joyful heart, then we’re probably not doing the big things with pure intentions, either.

If, as author and evangelist Jill Briscoe says, “your mission field is between your own two feet,” we need to let where we are and what God has us doing be enough, without constantly adding extra tasks to make ourselves feel worthy.

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What does true rest look like? I believe it starts with gratitude, humility, prayer, and obedience to God and his Word. If we want to experience rest, our prayer life must be constant and consistent, not sporadic and reactionary. Should we call on our Father only when we are desperate and need help? Of course not. Truly following Jesus requires us to learn, and to imitate his character so closely that people cannot know us without knowing our God, the ultimate source of our peace.

Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust.” (Psalm 91:1–2 NIV)

I believe true rest also requires God-ordained community. “When Moses’ hands grew tired, they took a stone and put it under him and he sat on it. Aaron and Hur held his hands up—one on one side, one on the other—so that his hands remained steady till sunset” (Exodus 17:12 NIV)

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During the week I lost my voice, I was at an outdoor, drive-in restaurant with a good friend and my almost-four-year-old daughter. Said child, who was deliriously tired, ran through a flowerbed dangerously close to the edge of the parking lot. I tried to scream for her to stop, but only faint squeaks came out of my throat. I panicked, but my friend caught my daughter’s attention. Much like Moses allowed Aaron and Hur to come to his aid, we are called to allow our brothers and sisters to step in when we grow weary.

We must remember that living in community and sharing the load is an integral part of the obedience that provides true rest.

Lauren Flake writes about her journey as a wife, mom to two little girls and Alzheimer’s daughter in her native Austin, Texas at For the Love of Dixie. Her first book, Where Did My Sweet Grandma Go? was published in 2016. She thrives on green tea, Tex-Mex, and all things turquoise.

Photograph © Alexandre Croussette, used with permission