Why You Should Say Yes to the Inconvenience of Love

You love as well as you are willing to be inconvenienced. ~Ann Voskamp

Love. It’s a funny thing. Several months ago I was on the phone with a friend, joyfully recalling how the man I’m dating had recently told me he loved me. “Let me guess,” she said. “You asked him what that meant to him.” I laughed because she knows me all too well. I had indeed responded with “Thanks,” and then gone on to ask what that meant to him. It seems silly, but in a culture that “loves” celebrities, food, and the latest TV drama, it’s a fair question.

It’s also a question Christ-followers must answer if we are to truly live gospel-centered lives. Jesus talked about love a lot. In John 13:35, he promised the world will know we’re his followers if we love one another. If we get this one thing right, the world will see Jesus in us.

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Just a few weeks after that phone call, I was in the car with another friend. She said, “So…do you love him?” That exact question had been bouncing around in my head. As a writer, I take my words seriously, so I was determined not to say I loved him unless it was true. I looked at her and told her I did. She asked when I had first realized it. I told her it was the first time I had a desire to put his interests and well-being above mine, the first time I was selfless in our relationship.

If I’m honest, I must admit I’m often incredibly selfish in relationships. I’ve been burned and hurt enough that I hold my cards close to my chest. I protect my heart with walls of stubborn independence. So the first time I was selfless and open in our relationship, I knew it was from something outside of me.

That’s what Jesus’s love does in us. It opens us up to a whole other way to love people. It’s risky, sure. Inconvenient, absolutely. But it’s the only way we truly love others.

Love is selfless, and it’s not just about our dating and marriage relationships. Every relationship in our lives has the potential to be a mirror into our hearts. People can see more of Jesus or more of us. Loving people well is at the root of the gospel, but it will be inconvenient. In this season of my life, love looks like a lot fewer evenings alone. It looks like six o’clock in the evening knocks on the door from a student who wants to toss a football and stay for dinner. It looks like texts from a friend that say, “Can I give her your number? She wants someone to chat with.”

I’m still selfish. I still long for evenings alone. I still think twice before handing out my number. Yet the payoff of obedience is worth it. The only way to root out selfishness from my heart is to allow Jesus to take over more and more of the space.

So today, I’ll say yes to love because I can choose to make obedience a habit even when it feels costly to my pride and selfishness.

Hannah Card is a wonderer and a wanderer. She is a southern-speakin’, Jesus-lovin’ coffee consumer who writes about life, whether pretty or messy (usually leaning toward messy). She is the daughter of two amazing, brave, church planting Jesus followers, the sister of an amazing worship pastor, and a lover of Jesus. She blogs at thissweetlybrokenlife.com.

Photograph © Pablo Heimplatz, used with permission