The Depth of the Father’s Love

Our recent move meant our sons, who are in fourth and sixth grade, would have to switch schools at the beginning of the fourth quarter, so before we committed, we carefully weighed the pros and cons. We prayed daily for guidance and wisdom, and ultimately a clear path lay before us.

This was the second significant move in less than four years for our family, and this time our boys understood they would know no one at their new schools and would be tasked with learning a new community culture. We all shed tears at different points, and yet we had no choice. The hard thing had to be done.

As the weeks went on, I was dismayed to discover this transition was the most difficult adjustment to date. Each morning as our boys walked out the door, they prepared as if entering an emotional battlefield. As our car neared their buildings, they grew silent and clenched their jaws before walking toward the entrance alone.

One day as I watched them do all this yet again, I was overcome by a sense of loneliness. My mama heart wanted to determine a way to protect them, to intervene in some way. As I brainstormed but found no reasonable solution, the tears began to fall and I could no longer hold back.

“God, you are supposed to love them more than I do! How can you watch them be so sad, so lonely? God, please, they need friends. Please give my boys friends.”

As I prayed and cried and prayed some more, a thought I couldn’t shake washed over me: This will be the place where our boys learn to choose God first.

After several days of praying for the right words to offer an encouraging perspective to our boys, I was faced with a question I sincerely pray no other mama has to answer. One of my sons asked why making friends in our new community was so hard. He expressed his feeling of being an outsider, and he asked why he had to be alone at school. I took a deep breath and then explained I had been praying about the same thing. I told him I thought God was trying to pursue his heart in a special way. I reminded him that when he was baptized, he said he was doing so because he wanted to publicly commit his life to following God.

I briefly shared a story about a bad choice I made in high school because I was afraid my friends would disapprove of me if I didn’t go along with their decisions. I told my son making the choice to live consistently according to God’s standards now would save him from regrets in the years to come. I told him this was a hard process, but both his dad and I had had to learn through it, and I was guessing all Christians did at some point.

As I summarized, I said something like, “I know it’s hard, but I think God wants you to choose him to be your most important friend, and then he will help you find friends who will encourage you to keep him first.”

Tears welled up in my son’s eyes. “Mom, I don’t want to have to learn this lesson,” he said.

As we cried together, I pictured God weeping with us. I realized God was teaching me that he does love my boys even more than I do. He loves them so much he is chasing after their whole hearts, even though the process is hard for them.

Romans 8:14–16 says, “Those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, ‘Abba, Father.’ The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children” (NIV).

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God has reminded me that he loves us so much he empowers us to live bravely. As we cry out to our heavenly Daddy, he reminds us we are his. Right now I think my sons are learning that in a tangible way. Their struggle breaks my heart most days and drives me quickly to my knees. But those prayer times, even when my heart aches to see them sad, now include thanksgiving to God for loving my boys so much that he is pursuing their hearts. Ultimately, that’s what we as parents do. We sometimes let our kids struggle to help them build character.

Beth Walker is a football coach’s wife and mom of two energetic boys. She strives to encourage those around her to pursue their best lives in Jesus whether she is near the game field, in church, or at the local coffee shop. As a writer, Beth has been striving to find her voice through seeing Jesus in the ordinary and extraordinary of daily life. She blogs at Lessons from the Sidelines.

Photograph © Redd Angelo, used with permission