Is There a Hole in Your Vessel?

I have a dear friend who’s very difficult to encourage. Nothing I say, nothing I do has any lasting effect on her. I send her an encouraging note about what a great mom she is, and her response is self-deprecating. I send her a care package, and her thank you is flat. Our communication tends to consist of me listening to her complain about how she doesn’t fit in, how she doesn’t have any friends, how my life is better and easier and more blessed than hers. I’ve literally spent years praying for her, trying to build her up, trying to be a source of encouragement in her life, to little avail.

The same thing happens when God moves in her life. Miracles seem to surround her, but she can’t see them. She’s always looking ahead to the next struggle, the next difficulty. When today is filled with goodness, she misses it because her eyes are focused on the thunderclouds she suspects will line tomorrow’s horizon.

She’s like a vessel with a hole in the bottom. Anything poured into her runs right out.

Does this sound familiar?

When someone offers you a compliment, do you dismiss it? When you receive a thoughtful gift, do you think, I don’t deserve this? At the end of a wonderful day filled with God’s blessings, do you think Well, today was great, but what’s going to happen tomorrow? Are you so preoccupied with the difficulties of life that you miss out on enjoying the blessings? Do you harbor thoughts about your own unworthiness? Do you compare your life with others’ and feel resentful or angry or envious?

All of these feelings can land us in a place of being unable to receive, from the Lord as well as from other people. This, in turn, can hinder our ability to pour out love. We may see ourselves as humble, as long-suffering. We may think we’re like Paul with the thorn in his flesh.

Luke 10:27 describes Jesus instructing his disciples in how to live. “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind,” he says, and, “Love your neighbor as yourself.”

Love your neighbor as yourself.

Beneath the obvious command here to love others well is another command–to love ourselves. Unpack this a bit further, and we might interpret this as a command to see ourselves as worthy of love. And worthy we must be–the Savior of the world gave himself up for us in death. This is a gift we have to actively receive in order to benefit. There can be no trite acceptance of the cross. If we reject Jesus, we reject eternity.

[Tweet “If you struggle to receive love . . . how might God be trying to turn that around in your life?”]

If you struggle to receive love, to receive God’s blessings, to believe yourself worthy of goodness, how might God be trying to turn that around in your life? How might he be speaking to you through the people around you? Through the sunshine and the peonies in your front yard and the smell of hot coffee emanating from the mug in front of you? The compliment your husband gave you last night–can you allow yourself to believe his words? That friend who invited you to coffee–can you accept the simple idea that she really wants to spend time with you?

God has so much for us. He doesn’t want us to be vessels with holes in the bottom. He wants to fill our cups to overflowing.

Harmony Harkema has loved the written word for as long as she can remember. A former English teacher turned editor, she has spent the past seven years in the publishing industry. A novelist and blogger in the fringe hours of her working mom life, Harmony also has a heart for leading and coaching aspiring writers. Harmony lives in Memphis with her car-loving husband and two small daughters. She blogs at harmonyharkema.com.