The Mercy We All Need

When I was learning to cook, I discovered a few things the hard way. Vanilla extract does not taste good by itself, baking chocolate is not the same as a candy bar, and forgetting to include key ingredients will result in something that might look like the picture in the cookbook, but won’t taste like it’s supposed to. This same lesson has repeated itself in a variety of ways in my life.

Social media is the temptation these days. I forget the cooking lesson and fall into the comparison trap. When I see the family photo where everyone is smiling in matching outfits, I immediately decide my friend’s life is more organized and together than mine. Capsule wardrobe wearers remind me I have too many clothes. People who are engaging in the Whole30 highlight that I am not eating a “clean” diet.My tendency is always to compare my internal mess to someone else’s exterior presentation. I forget that a picture reveals one small part of a life and instead decide that one picture presents the totality of a life.

2017 has been one of the hardest years my husband and I have faced thus far. Job loss, financial unknowns, and uprooting our family and moving have all been a part of our story. The first few days of this unexpected journey consisted of deep wounds, fear, and anger. It would have been easy to hide away from people by staying off social media and staying sequestered in my house. I could have pretended life was going along smoothly and dealt with the turmoil internally.

Instead, I opened up. I ignored the feelings of comparison and inferiority, and I simply stated the truth of what was happening in my life at a specific moment.

The women I opened up to immediately began to pray for our family. In fact, they continued to pray and ask for updates. They sent words of encouragement and never once offered me anything but support. The day I was able to share the news we would be moving soon because my husband had obtained a new job, the celebration was full and genuine. The care and support didn’t end there. Friends gave us boxes and planned a celebration in our new town. Some researched our soon-to-be community on our behalf, gathering useful information for us. We were starting from scratch and needed to find doctors, a church, and housing. Our friends connected us with resources to help us make the best possible decisions.

My vulnerability led to emotional support and the meeting of my family’s tangible needs. We were supported by friends in our local community as well as family and friends who are spread out around the country. It was such a blessing, and it would never have occurred if I had looked at the surface level of my friends’ lives and decided they were too put together to be able to enter my mess.

Another great thing occurred when I asked my friends for prayer: I was asked to pray for them in turn. I was invited to see behind the pictures that fill Facebook and Instagram and reminded that we all share more similarities than differences.

I have been reminded that all women have fears. We can all be wounded by words, and we can all wound with words. At the same time, women want to be valued and appreciated. My journey this year has reminded me that if we look past the surface, we can find the friendship and support we deeply desire.

Francesca Battistelli wrote a song called “If We’re Honest.” The refrain says, “Bring your brokenness, and I’ll bring mine/’Cause love can heal what hurt divides/And mercy’s waiting on the other side/If we’re honest.”

Mercy was exactly what I needed to keep my eyes focused on God. My friends were willing to reflect Jesus to me; they only needed to be asked. Do you need someone to support you through a hard time? Will you share your prayer requests at The Glorious Table Community? I’d love to encourage you today!

Beth Walker is a football coach’s wife and mom of two energetic boys. She strives to encourage those around her to pursue their best lives in Jesus whether she is near the game field, in church, or at the local coffee shop. As a writer, Beth has been striving to find her voice through seeing Jesus in the ordinary and extraordinary of daily life. She blogs at Lessons from the Sidelines.

Photograph © Pearl, used with permission