Think About Such Things

Encouraging others and building them up gets a kick start with the Golden Rule: treating others the way we want to be treated (see Matt. 7:12). But Philippians 4:8 gives us a deeper and more nuanced understanding of how we can encourage friends, family, and even strangers who need building up:

“Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things” (NIV).

Not that “thinking about such things” is the easiest thing in the world when it comes to how we relate to one another. Too easily we focus on the very opposite of what’s true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, and what’s excellent or praiseworthy. We can all dig down to find why we do (to make ourselves feel better than they are in comparison, for instance), but the fact is we do.

With God’s help, couldn’t we change that?

I think we could.

Couldn’t we think about . . .

Not perception (what’s not true), but authenticity?

Not failure (what’s not noble), but progress?

Not contamination (what’s wrong), but resolve?

Not what’s off-putting (what’s unlovely), but what’s pleasing?

Not what’s shameful (what’s not admirable), but what’s commendable?

We assume we know people and what goes on with them without taking steps to really know them. We ignore how people move on after a fall, focusing on the fall itself. We highlight bad choices rather than noticing the beneficial choices people make to protect themselves and others. We fail to appreciate unique personalities and quirks, what’s interesting or nurturing about those who are “different” or “annoying.” We condemn mistakes more quickly than we praise what’s excellent and praiseworthy.

I’ve done all this. I’ve made assumptions about someone merely based on what I “heard.” I’ve remembered a fall, but not the rise that followed. I’ve focused on bad behavior rather than renewal. I’ve decided I’d rather not know “that person.” I’ve withheld praise. I’ve been anything but encouraging. I’ve torn down rather than building up.

But what if in our daily encounters with others we thought about what is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, and excellent or praiseworthy in their lives? In their souls? Couldn’t we strive to know them better? Couldn’t we support those who have chosen a better direction? Couldn’t we say, “I’m disappointed, but I’m not giving up on you”? Couldn’t we share what we appreciate, not what we don’t? Couldn’t we hold out a steadying hand rather than participate in shaming, even in jest (and even toward ourselves)? Instead of conveying “You don’t measure up,” couldn’t we insist “There’s no measuring stick here”?

When someone is hurting, weighed down by the effects of gossip against them, failures, bad choices, bad habits, shameful secrets, or feelings of inadequacy, all stealing from their well-being and joy, couldn’t we—especially if they cannot for themselves—focus on what is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, and excellent or praiseworthy? Couldn’t we do so in the lives of the people God has put in our homes, in our communities, in our paths? Couldn’t we encourage them to think on such things because we think on such things on their behalf?

I think we could.

Jean Kavich Bloom is a champion coffee drinker and a freelance editor and writer for Christian publishers and ministries. She doesn’t garden, bake, or knit, but insists playing Scrabble is exactly the same thing. Jean and her husband, Cal, live in central Indiana. They have three children (plus two who married in) and five grandchildren. She blogs at bloominwordstoo.blogspot.com.

Photograph © Freestocks.org, used with permission