Receiving Well

My four-year-old opened the glittering red box with enthusiasm. He exclaimed excitedly, “Momma, another baseball! It’s just like the one I already have.” I cringed, hoping the giver wasn’t insulted, but there was delight in her eyes as my son wrapped his chubby arms around her neck. My boy had sown love with his genuine affection despite his impolitely worded response.

Every gift offered to us is an opportunity to build or strengthen a bond of love. When we are grateful receivers, we open a door to deepen our relationship with the giver of the gift. When we fail to appreciate or even reject a gift, we not only hurt those who extend themselves to us, but we harm ourselves as well.

It’s joy and childlike wonder that makes giving and receiving Christmas gifts exciting.  As adults, we put so much emphasis on the perfect gift that our ability to receive with genuine wonder and enthusiasm begins to wane. We have forgotten how to receive Christmas well.

Some even get to the point where they can’t receive a gift without feeling awkward or indebted. Instead of recognizing the heart behind the gift, they focus on the materialistic value or superficial appearance of the gift. Oftentimes the receiver will believe the only way to accept a gift is to respond by giving a more exceptional item. We overlook the intricate grace of receiving gifts well.

Sure, we coach our children to smile and politely say thank you when Grandma gives them underwear and a new toothbrush, but we inwardly cringe when she gives us shampoo and toothpaste in a cheery holiday bag. We forget the heart behind the shampoo. We ignore that perhaps she gives these items because she would have valued receiving them as a poor child who grew up without them.

Instead of coaching polite behavior, we are better off recognizing and teaching the heart behind a giver’s choice of gift. Our children don’t receive with genuine gratefulness because we as adults don’t know how to receive a gift in sincerity and nothing more.

I remember as a ten-year-old, wanting the New Kids on the Block CD, Step by Step. (Don’t laugh, NKOTB and CDs were cool in 1990.) My parents refused to buy it for me. My godfather had older stepdaughters and understood my intense desire, so he made cassette tape copies of their albums from his stepdaughters’ collection and gave them to me as a Christmas gift.

I remember feeling disappointed in those home-recorded cassette tapes. At the time, I didn’t know my godfather had lost his job and had no budget for gifts. It wasn’t until years later, as an adult, that I appreciated the heart behind the gift. He gave out of his love for me and desire to bring me joy. At the time, I received the present politely, but my heart judged the tapes as unworthy.

We may think of a Christmas gift as dispensable. Often the gadgets, gizmos, and trinkets under the tree are not necessary for our everyday life. Our children certainly don’t need the plethora of noisy, soon-to-be-broken toys, nor do we need that coin sorter, Chia Pet, or cat meme t-shirt from the office gift exchange.

We may approach a gift with the idea that we can always return it or “re-gift” it to someone else. This is wrong thinking; the value of a gift is not dependent on its monetary worth, usefulness, or popularity, but the heart with which it has been given.

In truth, successful receiving begins with the surrender to, and acceptance of, the greatest gift: Jesus. True greatness is not found in aloofness, as Jesus’ arrival exemplifies. Never has a more humble yet hope-filled gift been given or received.

“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” Jas 1:17 (NIV)

As we gather many gifts under the tree this Christmas, let us seek those opportunities to receive well and strengthen bonds of love. Let us be grateful receivers who seek to deepen our relationship with the giver of each gift, no matter how large or small, how extravagant or simple, how costly or inexpensive. Let us appreciate the heart behind every gift, for that is where we will find the heart of God.

[Tweet “Let us appreciate the heart behind every gift, for that is where we will find the heart of God.”]

Brianna George is a speaker, teacher, and missionary as well as a part-time writer and full-time encourager. She lives in central Tennessee with her husband of twelve years, two spicy little boys, and Bosa the boxer. More of her writing can be found at unveiledandrevealed.com.