What to Do When You’re Single and Away from Home for the Holidays
Christmas has always been the favorite holiday in my family. Christmas morning at our house, post-Christmas gatherings with the extended family—we like to drag it out for as long as possible. But Thanksgiving is a pretty close second. I remember getting up early on Thanksgiving mornings to gather with grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. We watched the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade on TV while the smells of roasting turkey and sautéing onions made our mouths water. I waited all year for the first taste of Grammy’s pumpkin pie.
Over time the Thanksgiving gathering changed as my generation started dating and getting married. Cousins and siblings were absent from our table so they could have dinner with their significant others’ families. In recent years, it’s just been some of my nuclear family at home watching the parade and eating together, but Thanksgiving is still one of my favorite times of the year.
Four years ago, I moved five states and twelve hours away from my family. You have to make adjustments when you find yourself unmarried and living so far from home. For me, the biggest adjustments came with the holidays. In an ideal world, I would have the time and money to travel home for every family gathering, but reality is definitely not ideal. I have to choose, and Christmas always wins out.
I have experienced four Thanksgivings since my move. Each of them was different, and each taught me something about how to handle the holidays as a single person living away from home.
The day is what you make it. My first Thanksgiving in my new home came just two months after I moved. The friends I was living with headed out of town to be with their family, so I faced the prospect of spending the day alone. Instead, I found a way to enjoy Thanksgiving with as many people as possible: I volunteered with the Salvation Army, serving Thanksgiving dinner to people who couldn’t afford their own. For a few hours, I scooped green beans and ladled gravy while chatting with the people coming through the line. Their smiles and conversation helped me enjoy the day without missing my family too much.
You can help someone else adjust to being away from home. My second Thanksgiving after the move wound up being my baby sister’s first Thanksgiving after she moved to Florida. Thanks to airline points, I was able to visit her for the holiday. We made Grammy’s pumpkin pie, watched the Macy’s parade, and cooked way too much food for just two people. And of course we spent some time at the beach, a novelty for two girls from Pennsylvania. It wasn’t the same as being with the whole family, but it helped us both to share the process of adjusting.
Family can come to you. On the third Thanksgiving, my parents came to visit me. We cooked a turkey and stuffing and green bean casserole, and we ate around my tiny dining room table. We watched football and enjoyed a fire in my fireplace. And we introduced a friend to one of my favorite Thanksgiving traditions: turkey and waffles. We made new memories, and I’m grateful for my parents’ willingness to travel so far for just a few days. That year gave new meaning to the phrase “home for the holidays.”
Plans change. After three years, I had the routine down: Thanksgiving away from family; Christmas at home. For year four, I booked my Christmas flights early and requested the vacation time at work. Then I found out the rest of the family would be home at Thanksgiving instead of Christmas. My parents and siblings rallied to purchase my plane tickets so I could be there too. It was the first time in a long time that the whole family gathered around my parents’ table for turkey and all the fixings. I reveled in the joy of it all.
This year I’m doing something entirely different for Thanksgiving. I’m taking advantage of the time off and crossing an item off my bucket list: a road trip from Atlanta to Colorado. It will be my first real road trip and my first time in Colorado. My mom is joining me for part of it. We might eat Thanksgiving dinner at Denny’s, but I’m putting that first lesson I learned into practice—the day is what you make it.
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If you find yourself single and away from home this holiday season, allow yourself time to adjust. Let yourself move forward by making new memories. It won’t be easy, but you can do it.
Katie Mumper is a daughter, sister, friend, writer, and singer. She loves Jesus, music, books, and great TV shows. Because she’s far from perfect, she is grateful for God’s grace in her life. She writes with the hope that others might be encouraged to let God make them new as well. You can read more of her work at beautyrestored.me.
