Made in God’s Image
It took two years of trying and one minor surgery for me to get pregnant the first time, so I was certain I would love and cherish every single minute of motherhood. Little did I know that just a few months later, I would find myself overwhelmed, exhausted, and hearing these words from someone I loved: “You know, God tried to prevent this from happening, but you just had to have it your way.”
Some people are made for a crisis, aren’t they?
I soon got over that initial deer-in-the-headlights, “Why did nobody warn me how hard motherhood is?” panic, and I was able to enjoy my sweet baby girl. Ever since I was a teenager, I had dreamed of having a daughter named Grace after my grandmother, and now I was living it—complete with dresses covered in pink rosebuds, lacy socks, and pink satin blankets. And although I couldn’t see it for myself, I absolutely loved hearing, “She looks just like you!” I adored having a mini-me.
As time went on, our similarities grew: her love for books, her musical ability, her slightly sassy personality. I was delighted to see my little girl being so much like me. Until I wasn’t. It didn’t take long to see less delightful parallels between us, like her almost obsessive need to be liked, or her constant desire to have the last word in an argument, or even her messy nature. I tried so hard to hide my insecurities from her, to model for her the kind of woman I wanted her to be. Yet there they were, my biggest flaws, being played out in front of me in my toddler, then preschooler, then elementary-aged child. I could hear the whisper of those words—God tried to prevent this from happening, but you just had to have it your way—and it felt like a punch in the gut.
Did I do this to her, God? Is it my fault? Were you trying to save the world from having another disaster like me? As an adoptee myself, I had always wanted to adopt. Was my initial infertility God’s way of telling me not to pursue biological children? Had I ruined his plan and subjected my daughter to unnecessary hardship simply by making her biologically related to me?
These questions plagued me until I came across a verse in the Bible I had often overlooked: “God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them” (Gen. 1:27 ESV). The passage struck me in a way it hadn’t before. I realized I had been looking at my daughter as being made in my image, but she wasn’t. Certainly she has my DNA (and my husband’s), and of course she resembles us in many ways. But she wasn’t designed to display our image. She was designed to display God’s. Every strength, every struggle, every trait and quirk, every talent and flaw were given to her so she could point back to who God is, not who I am.
That’s when I realized this verse in Genesis isn’t just for her. It’s for me. And for you. God doesn’t look at us and see disasters. He doesn’t think, “I sure don’t want anyone else like you in this world.” He doesn’t shame us for our struggles or blame us for the traits we pass along to our children. Instead, he wants to remind us, “You were made in my image, to be a reflection of me.”
Our talents reflect who he is. An artist reminds us God is creative, a counselor points to God’s wisdom, a judge shows us God’s justness, and a parent demonstrates God’s love for his children. Our struggles provide opportunities for him to shine through us. As the apostle Paul says, “I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me…For when I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Cor. 12:9–10 ESV). Our weaknesses aren’t a disappointment to God, but rather the perfect place for us to demonstrate his strength and greatness.
I didn’t saddle my daughter with her faults, but I am blessed to be able to relate to them and uniquely equipped to guide her through them. In fact, as her mother, I am tasked with walking alongside her through both her victories and trials. And isn’t that a beautiful reflection of a heavenly Father who walks next to us through every step of our lives?
Katy Epling is a writer, speaker, and “masterpiece in progress” (Ephesians 2:10) from Akron, Ohio. She and her husband Jon have three beautiful children who provide her with multitudes of material—both dramatic and comedic. Learn more about her heart and ministry at katyepling.com.
Such challenging questions — such sweet answers.
thank you for the insight. for the longest time I struggled trying to find my way, trying to make an impact on the world. I finally realized that I made the difference through the two lovely ladies who carry a little bit of me with them. I can’t take the credit for how they turned out but I am so proud of them, women who hae made a wonderful family and still managed to give of themselves to serve their neighbors and God.
I don’t know why I didn’t realize Grace was named after your Grandma Mayer’s! Jared’s Grace is Grace Luann after my Aunt Grace and Luann after maternal Grandma too! Always love to read your writings!
Katy that is one of the most beautiful post I’ve read. It is one of the hardest things to see our children struggle with the same things we do.
After believing I would never be able to have children, I now have two! And, it was like a smack in the face when I realized what a challenge it actually is. Yet, the blessings are endless!! I loved this.