Is God Asking You to Be Still?

When I was eight years old, I had a massive infection called Clostridium septicemia. Doctors had to amputate my left leg and hip (hip disarticulation) in order to save my life. From that day forward I used my one leg as two. All of the jumping, skipping, and hopping around over the years has caused my knee to simply give out. For the last seven years I have lived with debilitating knee pain. I’ve suffered with osteoarthritis (96% engulfed), 10+ bone spurs, a meniscus tear, and a baker’s cyst the size of a softball in the bend of my leg. My doctors and I knew the many temporary treatments I was getting weren’t helping, and my quality of life was dwindling. I knew the time had come for a knee replacement.

For many, the thought of surgery is scary. But because I have a rare disease, I’ve been in the hospital over 100 times (sometimes for months at a time), have had many operations, and have thankfully become unafraid. Nervous, yes, but not afraid. I get nervous because of my rare immune deficiency. Having surgery is like asking infection to come into my body and have a life-threatening party. I have over-protected my right leg for the last twenty-six years, and I was nervous about the possibility of losing it too. But I couldn’t live with the knee pain anymore, and I knew that I had to have the operation. I put my trust in God and my medical team, and had the surgery.

Everything I read and everyone I talked to before the operation told me it wasn’t going to be a huge deal. “We will have you up and walking the same day” the doctors said. “You’ll go home the next day.” But ten days later I was still in the hospital. I wasn’t able to get up and walk like everyone else, because I’m not like everyone else. In their initial plan they weren’t taking into consideration that I am an amputee and I don’t use a prosthesis.

After the surgery I had several setbacks related to my immune deficiency but thankfully my knee replacement seemed to be a success. Every time I had physical therapy, it seemed like I was getting further behind. I couldn’t walk–I couldn’t even stand up. I literally had to pick up my leg or have someone else pick it up if I wanted to move it. I couldn’t do anything for myself, and I was completely dependent on my family and friends. Here I was, thirty-five years old, and feeling helpless and dependent on everyone for everything. It was the complete opposite of my normal life.

That was when the light bulb moment happened. Mandy, I thought, God needs you to be still. He is teaching you something, preparing you for something, or maybe both.

Sometimes God wants us to be still. I’m not sure if you’re like me, but I’m a hard one to hold down. I’m a self-proclaimed social butterfly–so much so that once, during a job interview, they told me “We would never try to nail down your social wings.” I’m always on the go, so God knows when he wants me to listen, he has to put me down . . . all the way down. I don’t mean to be that way; I guess it’s just how I’m made.

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This time God wanted me to be still and listen: to invest time in him and not be distracted by other things. It’s easy to get distracted by our fast-paced lives with their electronics and social media. We can miss what God is trying to show us. He still has me down, so I am trying to listen and learn. I try to do this by digging into Scripture and spending quiet time with him. I really believe he is preparing me for the next season of my life. He needs me to be rested, ready, and in top-notch health. Plus, this rehabilitation time is reminding me to rely on God alone and remember his promises, trusting in his plans and not my own.

Is God trying to teach you something right now? Is he asking you to be still but you aren’t listening? What are some ways you are dialing into him? Where might he be trying to take you?

Mandy Young is a southern social butterfly who loves her family, friends, sweet tea, the color pink, and most of all Jesus. She travels the country sharing her life story and the challenges of body image. Mandy has been featured on national television shows and in countless newspapers and magazines. She can be found at MandyYoung.com.

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