The True Meaning of a Virtuous Life: Encouragement for the Weary Mom
Who can find a virtuous and capable wife?
She is more precious than rubies.
Her husband can trust her,
and she will greatly enrich his life.
She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
She finds wool and flax
and busily spins it.
She is like a merchant’s ship,
bringing her food from afar.
She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household
and plan the day’s work for her servant girls.
She goes to inspect a field and buys it;
with her earnings she plants a vineyard.
She is energetic and strong,
a hard worker.
She makes sure her dealings are profitable;
her lamp burns late into the night.
Her hands are busy spinning thread,
her fingers twisting fiber.
She extends a helping hand to the poor
and opens her arms to the needy.
She has no fear of winter for her household,
for everyone has warm clothes.
She makes her own bedspreads.
She dresses in fine linen and purple gowns.
Her husband is well known at the city gates,
where he sits with the other civic leaders.
She makes belted linen garments
and sashes to sell to the merchants.
She is clothed with strength and dignity,
and she laughs without fear of the future.
When she speaks, her words are wise,
and she gives instructions with kindness.
She carefully watches everything in her household
and suffers nothing from laziness.
Her children stand and bless her.
Her husband praises her:
“There are many virtuous and capable women in the world,
but you surpass them all!”
Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last;
but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.
Reward her for all she has done.
Let her deeds publicly declare her praise. (Proverbs 31:10-31, NLT)
Becoming the mother of three children was a dream come true, but it was soon overwhelming. Life grew into a never-ending cycle, and I was weary. I felt like I was on a treadmill with no off switch, and the constant rotation kept me on the run as I strived for the award-winning title I thought I needed to earn: Super Virtuous Woman.
Each day found me making beds, doing laundry, picking up toys, feeding hungry mouths, vacuuming crumbs, picking up toys, dusting furniture, scrubbing bathrooms, and—oh, did I mention picking up toys? Of course, in the midst of all that, someone had to bathe the kids, brush their hair, keep faces and hands clean, wipe little noses, and change diapers, as well as make timely trips to the bathroom with the one going through potty training. That was me too. Sound familiar?
I believed being the virtuous woman of Proverbs 31 meant it was my duty to keep the house spotless, make homemade bread, design clothing, spin silk . . . well, not really, but you get the picture. I might not have to spin silk, but I did think I had to “do it all.” I also believed a virtuous woman was a good mother. But I became so caught up in trying to be the best mom ever that my energy level plummeted. I became irritated, overwhelmed, and frustrated.
After months of dwindling motivation, I hired a babysitter and went to the doctor. I explained all the symptoms of my weariness. He lowered his eyebrows and asked a peculiar question:
“What is your daily routine?”
“Making sure my family has what they need is a priority for me,” I said. I squared my shoulders and spouted off my long list of responsibilities, as well as my perception of how to maintain a regular routine. The doctor set my chart on the counter as he leaned closer.
“My prescription for you is to not only serve your family a meal, but sit at the table with them. Slow your pace. Take walks, go to the park, and simplify your life. Enjoy your children and let them enjoy you.”
I left the doctor’s office speechless at his words of wisdom. The story of Mary and Martha in Luke 10 popped into my head. Martha was so distracted by everything that needed to be done that she wouldn’t take the time to sit at Jesus’ feet with her sister Mary. Raising children is a true blessing, and yet it can drain every ounce of our energy until we no longer recognize the joy of it all. It’s a natural part of God’s design for us, but we must pace ourselves so we don’t lose track of our individuality as godly women. I had allowed little or no time for myself, or for God.
During the next few weeks, I learned that even though housework must be done, it doesn’t have to consume me. Though toys need to be picked up, I can actually leave some on the floor for my children’s continued enjoyment. And every meal doesn’t need four courses. As long as my children are cared for and my family is healthy and happy, I can be content.
Most importantly, though, because I was guilty of wearing myself out trying to make the world around me perfect, I’d missed out on the most valuable priority of my day—time with God. I began reading my Bible and basking in God’s presence over morning coffee. That prepared me to meet each day with a new outlook. I released the stress of trying to build a perfect world inside my home as I realized this once weary virtuous woman had discovered the true meaning of a virtuous life.
Loretta Eidson is wife to Kenneth, mother of four children, and grandmother to twelve grandchildren. After eighteen years at her church job, she resigned to pursue her love of writing. Loretta believes in the power of prayer. She enjoys dark chocolate and Starbucks coffee. You can connect with her at lorettaeidson.com.
Beautiful and so encouraging..
Thank you, Bertha.
When I hear “virtuous woman” your name pops in my head first. This is a great example of the fears and stresses women deal with in trying to be perfect. Very well written!
Awe, thanks, Lori. I am humbled.
What a wise Doctor. Mary and Martha are the perfect illustration of what is most important. Great writing!
Thank you Susan. It’s amazing how we can get so caught up in our assumed responsibilities and forget what’s really important.