The Seasonality of Motherhood

I am ignoring the barbecue sauce I just found on the toilet seat. It came from the beard of a thirsty dog who finished off some rib remnants she found in the trash while we were sleeping. Dishes are crusting over in the sink, and my fingernails are four days past in need of polish remover. It’s hard to stay here with my computer, trying to focus my mind and write. But the house is quiet now. I see a string of minutes, maybe even hours, laid out ahead. So I will stay, because this moment, this season, was made for writing, made for accomplishing a call on my life, a purpose I was made for. There will be moments in this day, or maybe the next, for the barbecue sauce. Housework doesn’t win this hand–writing does, unless the trump card gets played.

I ignored the barbecue sauce in favor of writing, but then I moved the computer to make way for a little someone who appeared from her bedroom, warm to the touch. Her need for the best of me supersedes everything else. She holds the trump card: she calls me Mom.

A satisfying life asks us to be in a constant dance with our priorities–adjusting, moving with the flow, thinking ahead and, now and then choosing to go where the music moves instead of with the carefully planned choreography. Beauty is equally in the plan and in the adjustments.

We believe the lie that steals our focus and the I’m killing it feeling. The lie says I can have it all. The truth is, we can have it all, but we usually can’t have it all at the same time. Life isn’t just one season, and the most important goal in one season might not be in the next. Taking the long view gives us permission to focus without fear that we are missing out. We adjust with confidence, knowing that a temporary “no” isn’t a permanent “no.”

I’m smack dab in the middle of motherhood, my summer season. The days are long, and the sun is deliciously hot. Motherhood is trump in my life right now. It’s the thing I have to know I’ve done my best with before it’s over. I’ve just launched my first two and still have six children growing up in my home. It’s such a short season, and I want to love it before it’s gone. I’ll blink, and my tan will start fading and the leaves will start to turn. When I pull out the sweaters for autumn, I want to know I went all out during summer. The clocks don’t turn back on this one.

Maybe motherhood is your season right now. If you need permission to feel good about letting it be your main thing, I’m here to give it. If you need someone to quell the fear in your gut that says there won’t be enough time left after giving the best of yourself to mothering, I’m here for you too. There is enough, of you and of time.

I’m not saying you need to love motherhood or feel supremely fulfilled by it. I am saying you need to give motherhood its due. You need to wrestle it to the ground and pin it with the best bits of yourself. You need to be determined to do it well.

[Tweet “Motherhood is a short career–that’s the truth of it.”] It doesn’t cancel out the possibility of other careers. I could choose to completely pause a career while I have kids in my home and still have time to chase that dream again when the kid are grown. Believing there isn’t time for both is giving in to panic.

It’s freeing to walk past that barbecue sauce when I know I’m walking toward something better and more profound. It’s freeing to put down something important for someone even more important. And it’s freeing to give a beloved child headphones and a remote so I can pick up writing again for an hour.

I feel free because I know what season I’m in.  Summer is gorgeous! Now is the time to turn my face to the sun, knowing autumn will come and I will love it, too. The clock ticks through each season. None of them last forever. My kids only get one mom, and I only get one summer to let motherhood be my thing. I’m determined to focus, rock it out, and give them the best I have to offer.

Lori Florida’s life is all about her people. She’s convinced that being Mrs. to one and Mommy to eight will be her most significant way to serve Jesus. She wants to use her life to cheer on and coach the women coming behind her. Lori blogs at loriflorida.com.