What We See Determines What We Feel
One early Monday morning, I walked past my bathroom mirror and was disgusted by what I saw. I felt fifty pounds heavier than I actually was, thought I looked more homely than I actually am. It was a messy moment.
For the past nine months, I had been working to lose weight and add a few years to my life. But I had become a little more relaxed about it of late, and in my mind’s eye, I was seeing only my failings.
But I knew better. So I tried a little experiment. I turned sideways, stood up straight, and sucked in my stomach. Immediately my view changed from disgust to “this is acceptable.” Such a miraculous change occurred in my self-esteem as soon as I made a few changes.
What is it about our mind’s eye that seems to skew our view from one end of the spectrum to the other? Why do we do this to ourselves?
Our “mind’s eye” refers to our ability to “see” things within the mind. Sometimes when we look at ourselves, we see only the negative, which translates to disgust and disappointment in our minds. We allow what we see to determine what we feel. If we see ourselves with messy hair or baggy clothes, we tend to feel we are messy and baggy as well.
When I am feeling less than comfortable with myself, I tend to avoid mirrors because I don’t want to make myself feel even worse.
Spiritually, I sometimes find myself doing the same thing by avoiding God. I make my share of questionable choices, and in my mind’s eye, I see God sitting there, arms crossed, wondering why I made those choices.
But what I often forget is this: although he is all-knowing, can see my choices long before I make them, and knows very well why I make them, he chooses to love me all along. He chooses to offer me hope, forgiveness, grace, and mercy beyond what I could imagine. When I looked like a mess to myself, I didn’t want to face God. But had I not avoided him, perhaps my vision would have been restored sooner to what he truly saw in me.
God doesn’t look at us and say, “Look at her disheveled hair. Her life must be a mess,” or “Look at that baggy shirt. She’s beyond hope.” [Tweet “God looks at us with love. He sees in us a beauty we cannot possibly comprehend.”] He sees in us strength we cannot possibly muster, and he guides us along paths we cannot possibly find on our own.
My responsibility is to not allow the mirror or my mind’s eye dictate how I feel on the inside. I need to rest in the peace and promise that I am a child of God, who is loved and desired beyond my disheveled hair or baggy clothes.
We need to make a promise to ourselves: when we have moments of disgust and disappointment when we look in the mirror or in our mind’s eye, we must instead look at ourselves as God does. We are beautifully and wonderfully made.
“Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.” (Psalm 139:14 NLT)
While being constantly amazed by the grace and love poured out by God, Amanda Landes enjoys the great outdoors, coffee and trying to decipher which is more beneficial, Double Stuff Oreos or triathlon training. The life adventures that have come her way provide an opportunity to share that, no matter the trials or turns in the road before us, there is a solid hope and foundation that is found in Christ. Amanda blogs at abidingtrust.com.
