40 Days: How to Face Your Temptations

Four and a half years ago, I was overweight and frustrated with the way I looked.  Each day I tried to exercise and eat right, but I could not lose a pound. I was ashamed and felt hideous. I remember looking into the mirror saying, “Lord, please make me skinny.” Now, I shudder as I write those words.

A short time later, I got my wish. I dropped fifty pounds in six months. The weight I once cursed was eventually all that sustained me. I was in chronic pain and suffered from nausea for several years (I am not exaggerating)! It took my doctors a while to figure out that my stomach had paralyzed itself. I was diagnosed with gastroparesis. They could find no other medical explanation but stress.

Yep, I broke my body.

I could barely drink, let alone eat. I was hungry twenty-four hours a day. It was a living hell.  Everyone thought that because of the nausea, I wasn’t hungry, but that wasn’t the case. The smell of food teased and taunted me. I dreamed about it day and night. Yet the fear of the pain kept me from eating. When I did, I paid for it (like an ongoing bout of stomach flu, only much worse).

I was in a battle for my life and my soul.

Temptation isn’t just the yearning to covet, steal, lie, or commit any immoral act.  It can be simply believing a lie.  Anything that takes the place of God in our lives is an idol. It can be our weight, a house, a friendship, a career advancement, better behaved children, money, food, and more.

I could barely eat for three years. I can tell you that after only a short amount of time without food, if your mind isn’t in the right place, you can easily take the bait of Satan. I was out in the wilderness and starving. I gave into fleshly thoughts, and for a while I was full of anger, jealousy, and depression. My emotions overtook what I knew to be true.

Did I still pray and believe?  Yes, I did. I knew God could heal me at any moment.  I was shocked that He would leave me in such a predicament.  I remember crying out to Him, “You said that you would give me my daily bread!”  I couldn’t see that the enemy had me right where he wanted me—doubting God’s love for me.

It’s easy to see when the devil is attacking our loved ones, but it’s hard to recognize when the attack is on ourselves.

Jesus was led by the Holy Spirit into the wilderness for forty days. He ate nothing and was tempted by the devil.

It was a time of purification to get Christ ready for his ministry. So often I think, Jesus was God, so it must be that nothing fazed him. It’s easy to forget that he was also fully human. He faced the same temptations we face, and yet he denied the very temptations Adam and Eve gave in to.  Where they chose pride, he chose humility.

“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect” (Rom. 12:2 NLT).

As followers of Christ, we are all called to ministry. I am not saying we should all become pastors, but that we should be striving to follow Jesus’ example. We should be saying no to temptation. But when you are immersed in a culture of temptation, it’s hard to know where to draw the line.

While I wouldn’t wish my situation on my worst enemy, it has taught me to appreciate the temptation Jesus felt.

God stepped in and showed me that He cares more about my heart than my stomach. My suffering has given me deep compassion for others. As everything was spiraling out of control, I realized that earthly comforts no longer helped. Worldly temptations didn’t mean a thing anymore. I didn’t care about my bank account, how messy my house was, or what I wore. When it all faded away, what was in my heart?

When I was down to eighty-some pounds, all I could think about was how much time I had wasted on my own fleshly desires, instead of doing what God wanted me to do.

I wanted more time. Time to laugh with the children I had prayed so hard for. Time to grow old with my husband.  Time to help others.  Time to live the abundant life God had planned for me.

My doctors gave up on me, but God didn’t. I would love to say I am fully healed and able to chomp on cheeseburgers, egg rolls and fried rice, and a mean taco salad. My healing hasn’t been as fast I would like it to be, but God is teaching me patience, gratitude, and compassion. I believe His mercies are new every day, just as Scripture says (Lam. 3:23). Healing can be instantaneous, but for me it’s been a journey.

During Lent we usually give up obvious temptations such as meat or chocolate.  I want to encourage you dig deep and ask the Holy Spirit what really tempts you. Is it fear? Greed? Bitterness? Gossip? Selfishness? Pride? Insecurity? Rejection?

I encourage you to take some time to pray and see what is holding you back, and ask the Holy Spirit to root this temptation out not just for forty days, but for the rest of your life!

We aren’t promised an easy path, but our journey is one with eternal benefits.  Sisters, let us step out into the wilderness, face the enemy, and fight back with the Word of God. With His help, we will be unstoppable.

Kelly Nickerson is a homeschooling mama with two beautiful kids under her wing and four dancing in heaven. She also lives with her amazing husband, who supports her like no other. Kelly is a firecracker prayer warrior who shares honestly about her brokenness, while praising and clinging to the G-d who sustains her. When she isn’t hunting down germs with disinfectant, you can find her writing of her adventures at kellynickerson.com.