Who’s Steering Your {Disciple} Ship?

Apparently with this whole “ship” theme, I am channeling my inner Gilligan’s Island. I mean, who didn’t love Gilligan’s Island? Am I right or am I right? With all of this {disciple} ship business, it’s obvious I need to find some episodes and get my fix stat!

In my previous post, “Are You On the Sinking {Disciple} Ship?” I shared why I believe as followers of Christ, we are called to disciple others and to be disciples ourselves. I also mentioned how messy those relationships can be. Discipleship, while wonderful in many ways, can lead to feeling as if you’re drowning in problems—other people’s or your own.

I hate to share my opinions without opening my heart about why this particular topic is so important in my own life. See, the past couple of years have been a discipleship roller coaster ride for our family. Imagine you’re riding on the kind of roller coaster where you have only a lap belt. Your upper body is flopping around Raggedy Ann-style. That’s basically how we’ve been feeling.

Two and a half years ago, after crazy amounts of prayer, we took under our wing a teenage boy. My crew spent the first year and a half building a relationship grounded in trust, and then he moved in with us. It was a much prayed over decision. Day after day, we experienced confirmation that it was the right decision. He became a part of our family. We loved him as our own.

But a few months ago, my big boy moved out. He wanted to experience the freedom of being on his own. And I get it. It’s normal teenage stuff. However, as he is out discovering the world, I’m still working on sweeping up the broken pieces of my heart.

All of this mess is the result of beautiful discipleship. It is the result of laying my heart on the line. Genuine relationships are so difficult. Genuine love is sacrificial. We learned some hard lessons about changing ourselves because we can’t change others. We learned how hard it is to love people who are hard to love. We consistently poured into our foster son and prayed over him, even when he may not have necessarily deserved it or wanted it.

[Tweet “Discipleship, at its finest, leads us to the cross. “]It leads us to a better understanding of God’s insane love for us, His undeserving children.

I don’t have a heart for discipleship because it’s beneficial for me or fun for me. I have a heart for discipleship because I have a heart for becoming more like my Savior, Jesus. Through relationships in which we disciple and love, we discover Christ’s heart. Every time I cried tears of frustration or heartache over my boy, I heard the Holy Spirit whisper, “That’s exactly how I feel about you, my sweet bull-headed baby girl.” Diligently I pressed on in love, faith, and forgiveness—not because I wanted to, but because it’s how Christ loves me. Regardless of my bull-headedness, he chooses me. Regardless of my sin, he chooses me. Regardless of how I constantly choose everything other than Him, He still chooses me.

Of this I am confident: had I never struggled through such a messy, beautiful relationship with that precious man cub, I would never have come to know the truly endless love of Jesus that we sing about in church every Sunday. So I wouldn’t trade the heartache or the loss. I wouldn’t trade all my cherished memories. I wouldn’t trade the sleepless nights or countless prayers. I wouldn’t trade the joy. Every second was worth it.

Discipleship, in the end, is a matter of remembering who is steering the ship. I am not the captain, even though I would love to steal the hat and call myself the captain. But only God can effectively steer our {disciple}ships.

Proverbs 16:9 says, “We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps.” Go on ahead and plan your trip, but make sure God is the one steering your ship.

*Cue Gilligan’s Island theme song.*

Rachel Van Hook was born and raised in the Casey Jones capital city of Jackson, Tennessee. She’s mom to three girly girls, married to her church camp sweetie, and passionate about . . . well, according to her husband, she’s just passionate! Rachel blogs at racheljvanhook.com.