What To Do About the Speck In Your Friend’s Eye

Have you ever noticed that little kids tend to communicate to others the same things that have been communicated to them?

One time while I was in college, I was at a picnic hosted by one of the families on staff with our campus ministry. During the course of the event, I found myself sitting next to their then-three-year-old daughter. She eventually got up to go play with the other kids. Before she left, she looked me directly in the eyes and said quite solemnly, “Be careful not to spill my drink while I’m gone.” I assured her I would not, and she ran off.

Through laughter, her mom explained how this particular child had been struggling with spilling things.

“She’s been hearing that from us quite a bit lately. I guess she expects you might have the same problem,” she said. I laughed, amused by the workings of her little-girl brain.

But then her mom said something else that has stuck with me:

“It’s a great picture of how easily we perceive in others the same sins we struggle with ourselves.”

How true!

I struggled with addiction for fifteen years. For most of that time, especially during high school and college, I was very good at seeing, calling out, and even judging in others the same issues that were at the root of my addiction. Of course, I did all of this while hiding my own sins. I was a poster child for hypocrisy.

Perhaps it was an attempt to make myself feel better. As long as my sin wasn’t manifesting itself in exactly the same way as the other person’s, I could keep justifying it to myself. At least my sin wasn’t blatantly obvious. At least my sin wasn’t hurting anyone.

I guess this is why Jesus talks about the log and the speck in his Sermon on the Mount:

“And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? How can you think of saying to your friend, ‘Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye” (Matt. 7:3-5 NLT).

Ouch.

I distinctly remember lecturing a friend about his sin when I was at the height of my own addiction. I completely ignored my log and went after his speck with fervor and logical arguments, because we all know that arguing someone out of sin is the best way (#sarcasmfont). This was classic pot-to-kettle dialogue. I condemned my friend for the very things I refused to cut out of my own life.

So now I sit here wondering, what if we made a point of identifying and getting rid of our logs?

What if, when we found ourselves pointing out sin in others, we stopped to ask the Holy Spirit how we struggle with the same things? I bet he’d show us. And then we could confess it and ask Jesus to get that big old log out of the way. [Tweet “Thank God for His grace—it removes even the biggest and heaviest logs from our eyes.”]

And then, what if we told our friend with the speck about our experience? Imagine confessing to them about the existence of our log and the miracle of its removal. Imagine allowing them to see the work of grace and humility in our lives instead of hearing our judgment of them and their actions.

Maybe, just maybe, they might start to recognize their own speck in the story of our log. And maybe they would realize we can help them by being compassionate and supportive as they face up to their speck. Maybe as they tell us about their speck, we can tell them about Jesus, and they can experience grace just like we have.

Maybe, just maybe, this is how we’ll change the world.

Katie Mumper is a daughter, sister, friend, writer, and singer. She loves Jesus, music, books, and great TV shows. Because she’s far from perfect, she is grateful for God’s grace in her life. She writes with the hope that others might be encouraged to let God make them new as well. You can read more of her work at beautyrestored.me.