6 Ways to Keep Your Sanity During the Holidays
It isn’t always easy balancing family, friends, and faith during “normal time;” during the holidays it can seem outright impossible. But there are a few things we can do to ensure we keep our sanity intact and peace in our hearts. In fact, the best coping techniques are probably habits we already have in place, and we just tend to overlook them during the busiest season of the year.
Make a Time Management Plan
As invitations to holiday events begin to flood in, consider the schedules of the people you are responsible for. Post a calendar that begins a couple of weeks before Thanksgiving and runs through the second week of January. Write down everyone’s school and social events, work and church schedules. The calendar will provide a way for the entire family to see when they are expected to be somewhere, and will enable you to discern where you need to compromise or where an event just won’t fit in your family’s schedule. In our home, I also like to block out a period of time each week for doing nothing. Scheduling intentional times for rest during the holiday season is rejuvenating. Break time is good for the whole family—remember that everyone else is probably feeling as overwhelmed as you are. An occasional afternoon spent watching movies on the couch, reading, or simply napping can do wonders.
Forget About Perfection
If you decide to host an event in your home or volunteer to take charge of a party at church or work, remember that people would much rather see your smile than your worried look because everything isn’t perfect. Set aside perfection as the goal. The only person who will notice the baseboards are dusty is you. The extra toilet paper just has to land in the general vicinity of the bathroom, napkins can be in a simple pile on the table (if you forgot them, just set out a roll of paper towels), and you don’t need to serve a four-course meal. We often get hung up on the little things when what our guests want is to connect with us. Focusing on the people we love is much more fulfilling than worrying about dust bunnies. In keeping with the spirit of doing something well, try making a realistic To Do List—whatever realistic looks like for you, whether it’s Beef Bourguignon or a couple of trays of frozen appetizers from Costco–and implement it. Being intentional about your preparations will make you a more relaxed host. Delegating is also a good idea—put your husband and kids to work!
Keep Your Budget under Control
Being a good steward of the money you have is probably already tough–doing it during the holidays is even harder for most of us. Making and sticking to a holiday budget can really help. Figure out how much you can afford overall, and then allocate it. Personally, I start with holiday meals and parties, then I move on to gifts. Gift giving can often be stressful, but the one thing I want to emphasize is this: most of the time, a thoughtful, well-chosen gift doesn’t have to break your budget. Homemade gifts have always been my favorite, and they don’t have to be complicated. Use your unique talents and abilities to keep it simple. Chances are, most of the people you are giving gifts to are not looking for extravagance–they simply want to know you see their hearts (with the exception of children and teenagers, who look to the latest marketing for what they want). Within your immediate family, an intentional cap on the number of gifts can help, such as everyone getting three gifts in representation of Jesus’ three gifts from the Wise Men who visited him. Another popular budget-friendly solution for extended families and co-workers is a gift exchange or drawing, where each person puts their name in a hat and draws someone else’s name. However you decide to approach budgeting for the holidays, if you can make quality time the priority, the rest will fall into place.
Say “No thank you”
Learning how to say “No thank you” can be a big time, money, and sanity saver. If you are like me, it is hard to turn down an invitation to an event, small group get-together, or big holiday party. However, before you accept an invitation to something, you need to ask yourself, What else am I accepting responsibility for? Is there a gift exchange? Does the event have a ticket cost attached? Do you need to bring food or drinks? Is it possible to come late and/or leave early? What if the event conflicts with something else you are already committed to? If the event doesn’t fit your schedule or budget, or if it feels more like an obligation than a source of enjoyment, it’s okay to say, “No thank you.” There are limits to your time, resources, and emotions. Knowing your limits and those of your family will help make saying “No thank you” easier.
Keep Your Priorities in Place
Almost every family has its own holiday traditions, and maintaining those should be your top priority. In my family, there are certain things that cannot be forgotten, left out, or skipped. Our family spends Christmas Eve together at a worship service at a local church. It is a time to stop and reflect, see friends and family, and celebrate apart from the hustle and bustle. It is a time to slow down. We have other traditions. too, which are all reflective of our faith. Reading the Christmas story out loud on Christmas Eve, sharing a special meal on Christmas morning, and counting our blessings together on New Year’s Eve are just a few. [Tweet “Keeping our eyes on God in specific ways helps us remember why we celebrate in the first place.”]
Remember, Everyone Else Is Feeling Overwhelmed Too
When you have that moment, the one wherein the kids are fighting, the in-laws are due to arrive any minute, the laundry is piled up and the sink is overflowing, your spouse just called to say he’s going to be late, you realize you forgot to turn on the Crock-pot, and you suddenly discover there is gum on the bottom of your slipper–call a friend. No doubt she is having the same kind of day. It happens to the most organized person, the best planner, the most frugal budgeter. We all get overwhelmed during the holidays. We also have the ability to stop, catch our breath, and say a prayer. Take an hour to grab coffee with a neighbor and let yourself laugh about all the chaos. It happens to all of us, and it is likely happening to some of you already, even as you read this. Remembering that you are not the only one feeling overwhelmed is some of the best medicine you can give yourself. Take a look in the mirror, smile, and shrug it off.
As you get ready to dive into the busiest days of the year, my prayer for you is that you will be able to keep your perspective simply by ramping up the normal, everyday coping skills you already use to manage your household and your family’s needs. Forget freaking out–just keep moving forward and doing your thing. Hold on tight to your sense of humor (especially when you realize there’s gum on the bottom of your slipper). And don’t forget your To Do List and a prayer.
Angie Dailey lives in rural Ohio with her husband and family. She spends her best and most important time with the Creator of the Universe and with her family. She loves coffee, Jesus, and gardening, but not necessarily in that order. Angie blogs at angiedailey.com.
Photograph by Unsplash.
