Is Your Real Life Happening Behind Closed Doors?

Sometime during the 1970s, Charlie Rich released the song “Behind Closed Doors.” The lyrics claimed, “No one knows what goes on behind closed doors.” Even now, these very words unleash my imagination, making me think about the magnitude of secrets in our lives—secrets that tear at the very core of our beings. Secrets that weigh heavily on us, compromising our faith in God’s ability to rescue us.

Regina, a good friend of mine, was married to Arnold, an ordained minister. Arnold didn’t pastor a church, but worked diligently serving, teaching, and preaching any time the need arose at their church. Everyone loved Arnold, Regina, and their family. Members of the church complimented Arnold and Regina on their well-behaved children. On the outside they were a perfect example of a happy family.

However, Regina had a secret. Her friends at church had no clue what went on behind the closed doors of her home. Arnold’s demeanor was different. He became physically and mentally abusive to her and the children. Hiding behind a smiling face, Regina suffered a serious dilemma. She wasn’t comfortable seeking advice from her pastor because of Arnold’s friendship with him and other members of the church. Would they believe her, or would they rebuke her for accusing this fine Christian man of wrongdoing? If Arnold found out she’d told anyone what went on at home, Regina was sure the abuse would increase and his controlling behavior would worsen. She needed help, but had no one in whom to confide.

More often than not, as women, we try to protect the secrets in our homes, both good and bad. This behind-closed-doors way of living holds us captive, and if we aren’t careful, we become angry—angry with ourselves and angry with God for allowing our pain. We tend to blame Him for the broken places in our lives and push Him further away.

[Tweet “The Lord is the only one who can carry us through pain and give us hope in the midst of it.”]

Regina’s situation is just one in a world of unspoken pain. When she purposed to pray, her fear and anger subsided. She courageously sought advice from her pastor who, much to her surprise, already suspected the truth and offered his full support. It wasn’t easy for her to reveal what was really going on in her home, but she realized it was vital in order to restore hope to her family.

Most of us want our friends and colleagues to believe we don’t have problems. Like Regina, we hide behind smiling faces and worry about what people will think if the broken places in our lives are exposed. We even shun professional help for fear of appearing less than perfect. Sadly, it’s during these tough times when our faith in God’s ability to change a situation weakens, which convinces us to refrain from praying. We wonder, why pray when we can’t see a physical change?

Sound familiar? In this modern day, with all its craziness and all the pain tucked behind closed doors, we must release our pain, disappointment, and distress and place them in God’s hands. Regardless of the level of our faith, He knows when we’re in the midst of a battle, it is difficult to let go. As the old cliché goes, we need to let go and let God.

“Ah, Sovereign Lord, you have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and outstretched arm. Nothing is too hard for you.” (Jeremiah 32:17 NIV)

Loretta Eidson is wife to Kenneth, mother of four children, and grandmother to twelve grandchildren. After eighteen years at her church job, she resigned to pursue her love of writing. Loretta believes in the power of prayer. She enjoys dark chocolate and Starbucks coffee. You can connect with her at lorettaeidson.com.

Photograph used with permission from, and copyright of, Michelle Lenger.