Are You Losing Your Leaves?

It’s that glorious time of year again here in East Tennessee. You can smell it in the air, feel it in the wind, and see it in the trees, which are bright with reds and oranges. Autumn (my favorite season) has arrived. Soon little feet will crunch leaves, husbands and wives will snuggle under warm blankets, footballs will fly, and crowds will cheer. It will feel crisp, cool, and glorious. What a beautiful season!

Oftentimes as women, our seasons are so joy-filled we literally feel as if we might burst with happiness. But other days are dry and heavy, and we are so covered in darkness we feel we will surely drown in it. When days like this come, Genesis 8:22 comforts me: “As long as the earth endures, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night will never cease” (NIV). Reading this reminds me that God intends for nature to cycle through seasons, and it’s a natural thing for my life to be constantly changing, moving, and growing. Change and growth equal life.

Here’s a little science lesson about the trees ablaze with color outside. A deciduous tree absolutely must lose its leaves in autumn. In the winter, a tree does not take in enough water to survive and replace what it would lose if the leaves remained. If the tree does not lose its foliage and seal off each spot where a leaf was hanging, it will die. The leaves, which are integral for photosynthesis to happen during the warmer months, lose their usefulness in the cold months and fall off. To survive the winter, the tree MUST be bare.

In the past year I, too, have experienced multiple “seasons” of life. They have been short—more like chapters. But now, I am in a winter season. It is hard and trying, and I have begun to realize what wiser and more experienced women have told me: to survive the winter, friend, you must be bare.

You must surrender your leaves. I am just beginning to understand.

To surrender is to give up possession, to resign, to yield to the power of another. I don’t like to do this. I have a God who holds this universe. He is sovereign and yet concerned with me. Still, I frequently fail to surrender to his probing of my heart and to his working good in my life. It sometimes feels cold and hard, like winter. Like the trees, I hold on to my leaves as long as I can. There are parts of every season that I do not want to release to him. Goodbyes I am not ready to say, money in the bank that gives me worldly comfort, changes I don’t want to embrace, those kinds of things. We all do this. We hold on and cling. We do not want our leaves to fall and be replaced by little scars that remind us of happy times.

I struggle to see the beauty in the difficult days. I wrestle with trusting him and releasing my fear of the winter season.

[Tweet “I’m learning it’s in the difficult seasons that I can rest and just let God do his work.”]

“My comfort in my suffering is this: your promise preserves my life” (Psalm 119:50 NIV).

Like the trees, we weather storms that come and blow. We may feel frozen and cracked open. We will, at times, resist the period of waiting for spring to come again. What a picture of my life! I want to remain in spring or summer with the fresh newness, the loveliness.  I want to stay in cozy autumn and snuggle new babies or a new love.

When do I grow the most? When I surrender every fear, worry, heartache, and pain so I may rest completely in Him. He holds me up, he feeds me with his Word, his Spirit comforts and refreshes, and at last, I stand tall and bare. I pray it looks beautiful to others even as it feels painful to me. In winter, my friend, we can be as David wrote: “He [she] is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither, Whatever he [she] does prospers” (Ps. 1:3 NIV). When we rest and trust in him, no season is wasted. It can all bring growth as miraculous as spring.

“The grass withers and the flowers fade, but the Word of our God stands forever.” (Isaiah 40:8 NIV)

Gina Grizzle is a wife, mama, and aspiring writer who has a passion to share her life with other women in order to encourage them to be the best they can for the kingdom. At home in East Tennessee, Gina loves to fluff her nest, squeeze her sweet kids, and read books. She blogs at ginagrizzle.blogspot.com.

Photograph used with permission from, and copyright of, Michelle Lenger.