Who’s in Control of Your Life?

Recently I was at a women’s event where a discussion question prompted us to evaluate our spiritual “walk”. The focus of the message was Hebrews 12:1 (NIV):

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.

We were asked what was holding us back from following Christ with abandon. What weight or sin did we need to shed to run our race freely? As I prayed over the question, I struggled. While I’m not under the impression that I have no sin to confront in my life, I couldn’t seem to put my finger on just one thing in this season, one specific sin I was battling.

Then one word began to dance through my thoughts—control. At first, I was quick to disregard it. After all, no one wants to be the friend, the coworker, or heaven forbid, the fiancée everyone knows is controlling.

In general, I rarely have to come face-to-face with my need for control. I live alone, so most of my life truly exists within my own neatly designed plan and schedule. From the way I make my coffee and the way I clean my house to how I schedule my days, I don’t have to consult anyone else for input. Ironically, people often compliment me on how “under control” my work or home life appears. While I’ve thrived in this environment for several years now, it wasn’t until recently that I considered the spiritual impact of my need for control.

If I’m honest, I must admit that most of my need for control is rooted in selfishness. It reveals my belief that I know best. When I test my motivation against Scripture, however, I’m quickly reminded that I cannot retain control and master surrender. It’s easy to believe that Jesus just wants my heart, but I often neglect or ignore that he also wants my plans, my selfish ambition, my schedule, and my availability.

Philippians 4:6 (NIV) has always challenged me. Jesus is clear when he instructs us to “not be anxious about anything.” Somehow, though, I’ve spent most of my life dismissing this verse, convinced that my anything was a me-sized problem. The solution he suggests for anxiety is to “present [our] requests to God,” but I’ve often been convinced that only my mega-sized problems are worthy of prayer.

Instead of taking every petition before Jesus, I have taken to him only the things I could not solve on my own. I’ve let God handle the emergencies, but I have relegated the ins and outs of my daily life to my own control. That’s why it hit me so deeply when Jennie Allen spoke the following words at IF:Gathering this year: “Am I designing a life that needs God?” Her question exposed the selfishness of my heart. In my desire to keep my life in a comfortable, controllable place, I had designed a life that didn’t even need God. I had curated my calendar, finances, and relationships to be safe and manageable. The problem is that this kind of life doesn’t reflect my faith in a God who can do the impossible.

If God is who he says he is, then I’m done playing it safe. Throughout the pages of Scripture, we see people of faith living with abandon. A couple years ago, I was teaching on Daniel 3 in Starbucks, and I told my group that when the people of God are deeply convinced of the character of God, they live right on the edge of boldness. We see this sentiment repeatedly in the people of God.

In Hebrews 12, the writer reminds us we have a cloud of witnesses, people who have gone on before us, like the ones he mentions in chapter 11. I’ve got a list of my own witnesses right here on earth—my students, my lost neighbors, my friends and family, my coworkers. Bold lives of the people of God are perhaps, to a lost world, the best picture of the kind of God we believe in. If God is in control, I don’t need a carefully crafted schedule, a cushioned budget, or a perfect home. I just need him.

True faith in Jesus looks a lot like handing over the keys, not just to my future, but also to my right now, and saying, “Have your way.” If God is worthy of our trust and the gospel is worthy of our lives, then God can manage my time, my calendar, and my daily decisions.

Hannah Card is a wonderer and a wanderer. She is a southern-speakin’, Jesus-lovin’ coffee consumer who writes about life, whether pretty or messy (usually leaning toward messy). She is the daughter of two amazing, brave, church planting Jesus followers, the sister of an amazing worship pastor, and a lover of Jesus. She blogs at thissweetlybrokenlife.com.

Photograph © Joanna Nix, used with permission